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Dan in Lafayette 10-06-2017 01:24 AM

Cam Newton, here are some more questions from a female sports writer
 
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By Sally Jenkins -- Washington Post

I need Cam Newton's help. Maybe after he opens a jar for me, he can explain which end of the football goes in front. See, I'm a female, and as a member of the sex that burns the toast, certain concepts elude me, such as astrophysics, and football. I'll make him a trade: I'll tell him how babies get born, if he will tell me how to turn on a car.

It's so funny when females try to talk about things that they shouldn't. It's just so ... funny. Newton went all giggly when Charlotte Observer reporter Jourdan Rodrigue asked him about receiver "routes," because how would a female ever know what those are? But you know what's even funnier? Watching a thought try to find a route into Newton's head. I'm told nature abhors a vacuum, though as a woman I can't confirm that. If you ask me, the empty expanse behind Cam Newton's forehead proves that nature is just fine with areas entirely devoid of consciousness.

Apparently there are some subjects that are the immutable province of guys only. Therefore, in the name of gender diplomacy, I will help Cam Newton with certain feminine concepts, if he will help me understand how to use the twist-top on a bottle of beer, and why some men act like football strategy is more complicated than a space flight guidance system.

Tell you what: If Cam Newton will show me what a hitch and a slant are, I will show him how to take questions after a loss without pouting.

Full Article -- NOLA.com


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