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Old 10-07-2017, 06:39 AM   #1
Ridin' a Stutz Bearcat

 
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Things that only need to happen to you once...

before you learn your lesson.

"When are you due?"

"I'm not pregnant"

Only had to ask that question one time many moons ago.

More recently I went to the dentist to have a cracked tooth repaired. My dentist, with whom I went to high school and college, says "I've got to pull that broken sliver, do you want anesthesia?" I say "No, go ahead"

He pulls the sliver and I feel like I've been kicked in the head by a mule as I bite an electric fence. "Ow, Dammit #$%^"

"I asked you if you wanted anesthesia, tough guy"

If the dentist asks if you want anesthesia, the answer is always "YES!!!"
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Imagination is given to us to compensate us for what we are not, a sense of humor to console us for what we are.--Sir Francis Bacon
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Old 10-07-2017, 06:43 AM   #2
Intervention needed!
 
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Brussels Sprouts
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Old 10-07-2017, 08:08 AM   #3
⚜ Pluck those Falcons ⚜
 
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Broken jaw. Doctor was about to start removing wires and he asks if I wanted him to numb me up first. I said "no." Was trying to avoid needles in my gums. He starts pulling the wires and it felt like I was flossing with barbwire. About 4 "tugs" in, I had him stop and numb me up. Then I took like 6 needles into my gums. Yay! Good times.
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Old 10-07-2017, 09:08 AM   #4
99% Practice; 1% Theory
 
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1. Marriage
2. Pregnancy
3. A bad acid trip

ETA: Not necessarily in that order. The acid trip came before the marriage which came before the pregnancy. Also, I love my child and he's been a great kid, I just learned early on, I did not want more children. This is in no way a knock on him.
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Old 10-07-2017, 09:15 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CapitalCitySaint View Post
1. Marriage
2. Pregnancy
3. A bad acid trip

ETA: Not necessarily in that order. The acid trip came before the marriage which came before the pregnancy. Also, I love my child and he's been a great kid, I just learned early on, I did not want more children. This is in no way a knock on him.
In that order?
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Old 10-07-2017, 09:17 AM   #6
99% Practice; 1% Theory
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by staphory View Post
In that order?
I edited the post immediately after posting it because I knew the next questions would be "did the bad acid trip result in the pregnancy that resulted in the marriage"...
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Old 10-07-2017, 09:37 AM   #7
Intervention needed!
 
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Sloe gin fizz
Cheap tequila
Dallas
Telemarketing job
Beth
Last two seasons of True Blood
Ditka
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Old 10-07-2017, 09:50 AM   #8
99% Practice; 1% Theory
 
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Telemarketing job
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Old 10-07-2017, 10:01 AM   #9
Football Genius
 
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Can I put marriage even if I'm still married?

The struggle is real.
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Old 10-07-2017, 10:03 AM   #10
THE WOOD WAS BROUGHT
 
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Dating someone with a bad bipolar disorder who doesn't remember her meds all the time.
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Old 10-07-2017, 10:04 AM   #11
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I was gonna say chancing on a fart....you know, when you don't succeed, but that's happened more than once, so I guess it doesn't qualify!
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Old 10-07-2017, 10:48 AM   #12
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Old 10-07-2017, 11:00 AM   #13
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Can I put marriage even if I'm still married?

The struggle is real.


^this


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Old 10-07-2017, 11:01 AM   #14
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Beer before liquor

Ok so maybe that took several tries
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