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It's ok to feel defeated from time-to-time. I know from personal experience that chronic pain can be debilitating, and leaving us feeling like we can't handle it anymore. But even in those lows, there is strength. We're human. To paraphrase that cheesy-assed Chumbawumba song, we get knocked down, but we get up again. Posting about your experience is it's form of therapy. And then there is prayer, which I firmly believe in. I will pray for you.