Worst birthday ever! Advice needed! (2 Viewers)

[Andrus]

Andrus, that is a heart wrenching story. This is the worst birthday ever. If you or any other SR member who is savvy with go find me can start an account, I know that I, as well as hundreds of other SR members will contribute and beat the drum until we collect enough to get you through this.

Thanks Syracuse Saint, and the rest of you that have shared the sentiment wanting to help financially. Let me see what happens with the funeral director tomorrow, as well as Scott's family. We may be able to get through the funeral expense on our own if they finance. We will see.

What I may end up doing is starting a gofundme for the sake of my daughter and the grandchildren. There is a good bit of shared debt that Scott leaves, which is in both his and my daughters names, and it would be nice to eliminate some of that. I sure can't take it on. I've got more of that than I can handle already. So what happens to his personal debt that is in his own name only? Since he and my daughter were not officially married, is she burdened with that? I know this isn't the best time to ask such a question, but I need to know, and we have quite a few members that are attorneys that would likely be able to answer.

 

[Andrus]

Andrus, very sorry to hear about your son in law. That's devastating. I can't imagine what you and your family are going through - especially your daughter and your grand children.

Regarding funeral costs, there's a lot of useful information online. One site that I found initially helpful was:
http://www.us-funerals.com/funeral-...on-how-to-pay-for-a-funeral-or-cremation.html

Louisiana

A guide to planning a funeral or cremation service in Louisiana. FAQs about funeral laws, cremation prices & how to save on funeral costs.

www.us-funerals.com

Funeral Cremations

Cremation is fast becoming the preferred choice of many families in America today. In fact, the cremation rate has been steadily growing for the last 5 years and has now reached almost 60%. Of course, in some states the cremation rate is much higher (such as California), but in most states now...

www.us-funerals.com

Also, if you incur any significant costs, you might want to think about a GoFundMe campaign, or just post your Paypal information. I'm sure there more than a few people here on SR that would be honored to help out.

Thanks for the link, lades. Going to look at that now.

 

[dapperdan]

Thanks Syracuse Saint, and the rest of you that have shared the sentiment wanting to help financially. Let me see what happens with the funeral director tomorrow, as well as Scott's family. We may be able to get through the funeral expense on our own if they finance. We will see.

What I may end up doing is starting a gofundme for the sake of my daughter and the grandchildren. There is a good bit of shared debt that Scott leaves, which is in both his and my daughters names, and it would be nice to eliminate some of that. I sure can't take it on. I've got more of that than I can handle already. So what happens to his personal debt that is in his own name only? Since he and my daughter were not officially married, is she burdened with that? I know this isn't the best time to ask such a question, but I need to know.

I believe LA does not have common law. My initial thought is that his debt should just go away with a copy of the death certificate but I should be able to find out this week.

 

[Andrus]

I believe LA does not have common law. My initial thought is that his debt should just go away with a copy of the death certificate but I should be able to find out this week.

Dan! I very much appreciate that information. Thank you for taking the time to check into that.

 

[dapperdan]

Dan! I very much appreciate that information. Thank you for taking the time to check into that.

Take a look at this. I can find out for sure this week but I’m pretty confident that unless someone co signed it should not be a burden to your family.

Does a person's debt go away when they die? | Consumer Financial Protection Bureau

Money or property in the estate may go towards repaying the debt. If you’re a surviving family member or friend, don’t assume you’re responsible.

www.consumerfinance.gov

 

[kanona29]

This is just so unbelievable and on your birthday! I can't imagine the shock and devastation your family must be feeling right now.

I have no advice to give...just love, support, and prayers. Wow, I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this right now.

If you set up a gofundme, please let us know. I'm sure there are many who would want to help your family out.

 

[Andrus]

Take a look at this. I can find out for sure this week but I’m pretty confident that unless someone co signed it should not be a burden to your family.

Does a person's debt go away when they die? | Consumer Financial Protection Bureau

Money or property in the estate may go towards repaying the debt. If you’re a surviving family member or friend, don’t assume you’re responsible.

www.consumerfinance.gov

Thanks Dan! So it looks like Sheena will only be encumbered with their shared credit cards. He left no Will. There really is no estate since he didn't own anything tangible of value that I am aware of. I financed his Truck and it's in my name, so I am responsible for that. Hopefully, it's current value covers what I still owe on it.

Man! This is just horrible! Tragic is an understatement. I keep thinking about my 5-year old grand daughter. She's been in the bedroom with my wife wailing for her dad. My daughter is just devastated, and there is nothing that I can do other than to try to console and try to take some of the burden off of her shoulders by taking care of arrangements and getting his affairs in order.

 

[southdeltan]

I send my deepest condolences. Having run a forum for a community online before I know that many people will be more than willing to help pitch in to help with the web site (not that you have asked) and personal personal web sage financial needs.

 

[jasonsw]

Many prayers to you. May you and your family's heart somehow heal.
As for your daughter having M.S it is a long hard road. My father has had M.S for 20 years now. He is crippled badly now. Only thing harder is dementia and Alzhiemers which my mother in law has. She requires 24/7 care from my wife and I.

Thanks for all you do and bringing us a place to gather. As I drive to work my thoughts are with you.

 

[Jonboy]

So sorry to hear this, Andrus. Prayers for you and your family.

 

[LaTex]

Wow. Sorry to hear about the devastating loss. Certainly our prayers are with you and your family. I am a long time member and I’m on the site every day but never take the time to post or reply. But being that I am a Pastor currently living in Texas, and deal with situations like this all the time, I wanted to chime in.
“Normally” funeral homes do not finance their services because of the large risk of not being able to recover their funds after the services have been provided and the emotional attachments have somewhat diminished. If there was a life insurance policy they would normally accept it upfront as long as the beneficiaries sign the policy over to them and then the beneficiary receive the balance. Many times families have to take out loans from banks or do additional credit limits on their credit cards.

Not that it helps in this case but I would suggest to all members and readers to look into taking out Pre-need policies on any uninsured loved ones that you may ultimately be responsible for their final arrangements. They are usually very economical and once you’ve made the first payment, you are covered as long as you continue the payments. Please inform us if there’s a Go Fund Me account. I KNOW, the WhoDat Nation will be there for you and make this happen.

 

[Stalwart385]

Sorry to hear that. I always try to keep the motto that crisis and opportunity are one and the same. It's impossible to find positive when losing a loved one though. All you can do is grieve. Hopefully, the rest of it works out in a roundabout way. I would just do whatever it takes (reasonably) and try to worry about it later. Stressing over it all at once will be tough. Give your family time to worry about the loss. Hopefully people around you will help where you weren't expecting it. Sucks that you have to look for the good in things but the bad will always slam into your face. Best of luck.

 

[Andrus]

Wow. Sorry to hear about the devastating loss. Certainly our prayers are with you and your family. I am a long time member and I’m on the site every day but never take the time to post or reply. But being that I am a Pastor currently living in Texas, and deal with situations like this all the time, I wanted to chime in.
“Normally” funeral homes do not finance their services because of the large risk of not being able to recover their funds after the services have been provided and the emotional attachments have somewhat diminished. If there was a life insurance policy they would normally accept it upfront as long as the beneficiaries sign the policy over to them and then the beneficiary receive the balance. Many times families have to take out loans from banks or do additional credit limits on their credit cards.

Not that it helps in this case but I would suggest to all members and readers to look into taking out Pre-need policies on any uninsured loved ones that you may ultimately be responsible for their final arrangements. They are usually very economical and once you’ve made the first payment, you are covered as long as you continue the payments. Please inform us if there’s a Go Fund Me account. I KNOW, the WhoDat Nation will be there for you and make this happen.

I appreciate the information, Pastor. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but I needed to hear it. I'll be better prepared to talk to the funeral home now. Thank you for taking the time, none the less.

Here is the problem with the pre-need policy. Insurance policies keep people broke. Danged if you do, danged if you don't, and if you really need one, they won't give it to you. No one will give me life insurance due to being a diabetic on blood pressure medicine with a bad thyroid. Been trying for 25 years. Always a no-go! So there's that.

Will see about that GoFundMe tomorrow, or should I say later today. I need to discuss it with the family. Tired, but can't sleep.

 

[Super44]

First thing I would do, is call all of the creditors and explain the situation. Many will simply relieve the debt., depending on the creditor. Next, I would get a bankruptcy lawyer to explore the best options. I went through a similar family situation, so I understand yours, from a distance. Don’t be ashamed of contacting a bankruptcy lawyer in a case such as this. It is unexpected real life situations, that require unplanned measures.

I am saddened to hear such horrible news. Very sad for you and your family, Andrus!

If someome starts a gofundme page, I’ll be glad to help.

And if you need any help with the MS side, as far as advice/direction, my good friend was the previous director of programs for the MS society in the State of Louisiana. She has MS herself and has been to Washington to talk with congressional leaders. She was instrumental and the focal point in having the donation to the MS society placed on tax returns as an option. She helps people such as your family and individuals with MS, work to find the right resources for any needs you may have. PM me and I will be glad to have her reach out to you and your family. You may be surprised at things she can help with. And she is on top of the many advancements in treating MS. She is going to be in a new program herself; shortly.

Take care.

 

[watts]

That’s devastating. You have brought so much joy and happiness over the years for myself and others. Please let us know how we can help you and your family.