Starbucks at it again (1 Viewer)

So, kinda like when @zeetes gets ribbed about his, ahem, stature? :hihi:
I think it's a bit different than good-natured ribbing, but I do think that's something that's ingrained in our subconscious as well, to belittle our competitors in order to raise us in the pecking order as the alpha in the group.
 
I think it's a bit different than good-natured ribbing, but I do think that's something that's ingrained in our subconscious as well, to belittle our competitors in order to raise us in the pecking order as the alpha in the group.

I think it depends on motives. If we're doing it in good fun and we "get" each other, it's fine. If it's done with the intent of being mean, or to make one self feel better, then it's not a good thing.

Of course, zeetes knows what's up. :9:
 
I was thinking of posting something about this yesterday. When I was a kid, I was always a bit smaller than most of my friends. A lot of them were a bit older as well. Being the smaller guy I grew up with a little bit of a chip on my shoulder, so I always felt like I could never back down from anyone or let anyone push me around or it would continue to happen all my life. One day in high school I started noticing a trend. Every time one of my friends were telling a story or showing an example, they would always turn to me as their prop. I knew it was subconscious, but I felt like me being the smaller guy had to play into it. That's a microaggression. But different than how we handle things today, I handled it myself and started to tell them I wasn't their prop and to use someone else, so it wasn't long before they quit.

I think this is a good example of the form biases can take when discussing racism too. I don't think all police set out to treat Black people differently or people who greet everyone in the office by saying "Good morning" know or even realize what they're doing when they greet the black people in the office by saying "what's up, Girl!" or "What up, bro!" (https://www.blackenterprise.com/27-things-white-people-never-ever-say-black-co-workers/)

Malicious intent doesn't have to be present as your story indicates. But if you never address it, how do discussions take place? I think the correct answer is to have the discussion of the person's feelings and not try to explain why it could not be what the person is feeling. In your situation, your feelings were still important even if your friends intentions weren't malicious.
 
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I think it depends on motives. If we're doing it in good fun and we "get" each other, it's fine. If it's done with the intent of being mean, or to make one self feel better, then it's not a good thing.

Of course, zeetes knows what's up. :9:

I disagree. Motives alone cant be used. I think it depends on how the other person feels about it. If it's done in good fun and the other person doesn't like it, it's still not okay.
 
A think a white guy assuming to know how black people should feel or approach possible racism is unfair. Your question, "is it unfair to assume racism if it isn't overt" gives the impression that racism that isn't overt is less common than overt racism. I would contend that the most common type of racism people encounter today is more discreet. So why would it be unfair to assume racism if it isn't overt?

Do you think overt racism is still more prevalent than discreet forms of it?
I'm not assuming what anyone should feel, I'm literally asking you what you feel and what you think about it. I'm looking at it from a perspective of common human emotion that we all have and asking you, as a black person, if that common emotion inherently triggers thoughts of racism when dealing with a white person and asking you if you think that's fair. Your answer is yes, you think that it's fair to assume that someone is being racist even if it's not being openly displayed. So then, would you also agree that it's fair for me, as a white person having a disagreement with a black person, to feel like that black person thinks that I am racially motivated in the disagreement?
 
I disagree. Motives alone cant be used. I think it depends on how the other person feels about it. If it's done in good fun and the other person doesn't like it, it's still not okay.

Of course, I'm talking about both sides having the same understanding. If the other person doesn't like it, of course it's wrong. I thought that was obvious.

When I say in good fun, it means fun for both. I even said "if we 'get' each other" in my post.
 
I wonder if microaggressions will still be a complaint after the economy crashes.

Yemenis: My child died from malnutrition and cholera due to Saudi/US embargos and bombing.
Americans: These microaggressions are a crime against humanity!
 
I think this is a good example of the form biases can take when discussing racism too. I don't think all police set out to treat Black people differently or people who greet everyone in the office by saying "Good morning" know or even realize what they're doing when they greet the black people in the office by saying "what's up, Girl!" or "What up, bro!" (https://www.blackenterprise.com/27-things-white-people-never-ever-say-black-co-workers/)

Malicious intent doesn't have to be present as your story indicates. But if you never address it, how do discussions take place? I think the correct answer is to have the discussion of the person's feelings and not try to explain why it could not be what the person is feeling. In your situation, your feelings were still important even if your friends intentions weren't malicious.
LOL, then I would be super-offensive because I call people "brother" and say "what's up" all the time to everyone, I've even said the occasional "what up." but that's a cultural thing. Growing up in the 80's, into break-dancing and early rap, most of the people my age that I know uses that sort of jargon. So, would that be considered cultural appropriation now & not acceptable?
 
I wonder if microaggressions will still be a complaint after the economy crashes.

Yemenis: My child died from malnutrition and cholera due to Saudi/US embargos and bombing.
Americans: These microaggressions are a crime against humanity!
It certainly is a big distraction.
 
LOL, then I would be super-offensive because I call people "brother" and say "what's up" all the time to everyone, I've even said the occasional "what up." but that's a cultural thing. Growing up in the 80's, into break-dancing and early rap, most of the people my age that I know uses that sort of jargon. So, would that be considered cultural appropriation now & not acceptable?

Breakdancing is about the only dancing I ever learned. :hihi:
 
I'm not assuming what anyone should feel, I'm literally asking you what you feel and what you think about it. I'm looking at it from a perspective of common human emotion that we all have and asking you, as a black person, if that common emotion inherently triggers thoughts of racism when dealing with a white person and asking you if you think that's fair. Your answer is yes, you think that it's fair to assume that someone is being racist even if it's not being openly displayed. So then, would you also agree that it's fair for me, as a white person having a disagreement with a black person, to feel like that black person thinks that I am racially motivated in the disagreement?

There's a lot of assumptions being made here. I don't think we all share a perspective of common human emotion because we're all different and shaped by our own experiences. And again, I don't think it's fair for white person to assume to know if a black person's accusation of racism stems from an inability to distinguish between a feeling of mistreatment because of racial prejudice or simply a misunderstanding.

And in regard to this, "Your answer is yes, you think that it's fair to assume that someone is being racist even if it's not being openly displayed." I said no such thing. I said it's naïve for us as bystanders to assume the person can't make the determination for themselves. I haven't said whether I feel their feeling is wrong or not, because I wouldn't know.

Now could you please answer my question. Do you think overt racism is still more prevalent than discreet forms of it?
 
Now could you please answer my question. Do you think overt racism is still more prevalent than discreet forms of it?

I'd compare it to gun violence in a way - the assault rifle mass shootings are the big 'flashy' overt violence that dominates the media's attention but it's the smaller 'discreet' handgun shooting that make up the lion's share
 
There's a lot of assumptions being made here. I don't think we all share a perspective of common human emotion because we're all different and shaped by our own experiences.
Again, I have to disagree somewhat. Yes, we all have different experiences, but the experiences are what triggers the emotions. The emotions themselves are base feelings that every human has.

And again, I don't think it's fair for white person to assume to know if a black person's accusation of racism stems from an inability to distinguish between a feeling of mistreatment because of racial prejudice or simply a misunderstanding.
Maybe I wasn't clear when I tried to explain that there are times when everyone has a disagreement with someone that they feel like it is personal, even when there is no overt display. As I was saying, having worked in a service repair shop, I often saw this happening, both from customers & employees and tuned myself to try to empathize with a person and it often worked wonders in customer interactions. Sometimes people were just aholes and you just had to take it. So, I felt like it was a fair question to ask that when a black person has that same feeling that I do of a disagreement being personal, if racism always comes to mind.
And in regard to this, "Your answer is yes, you think that it's fair to assume that someone is being racist even if it's not being openly displayed." I said no such thing. I said it's naïve for us as bystanders to assume the person can't make the determination for themselves. I haven't said whether I feel their feeling is wrong or not, because I wouldn't know.
Sorry, I took this as a yes:
So why would it be unfair to assume racism if it isn't overt?
Now could you please answer my question. Do you think overt racism is still more prevalent than discreet forms of it?
Sorry, I missed the question before. No, I don't think that at all & I don't think that I implied that. But what I do think is that sometimes racism gets injected into discussions or arguments over assumptions. Do I think that's fair? I honestly don't know and being white, it's probably not my place to decide. All I know is that it can hinder resolution of an issue and that being on the receiving end of that accusation feels unfair.
 
I was drinking 2 1/2 16oz cups of coffee each workday in the morning (so, 5 regular cups) and I just decided to try and quit cold turkey while working from home. I thought that would be a few weeks. Oops. :hihi:

I've decided to try and keep going until I return to the office regularly. It sounds like even when we go back to the office later this year that we'll have the ability to work from home part-time.

I have coffee in the house, so it's there if I want it, but I've been doing pretty well without it.

So, are you just injecting caffeine in your veins instead?

Seriously, I don't think I could do without a bunch of caffeine in the morning. I'm not a morning person and without the caffeine, I don't think I could function.
 
So, are you just injecting caffeine in your veins instead?

Seriously, I don't think I could do without a bunch of caffeine in the morning. I'm not a morning person and without the caffeine, I don't think I could function.

Yeah, for me, coffee is more a comfort thing than anything else. I probably could do without it, but I just enjoy the routine of making a pot and starting the day with a piping hot cup of coffee.
 

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