Miley Cyrus changes her.........................................

Okay, I’ve gone from not knowing who this girl is to knowing WAY too much about her in an extremely short period of time. Seriously. Without even trying I’ve learned that she’s 16, wants to remain a virgin till marriage (despite progressively dressing like more and more of a whore, ala Britney Spears), plays a character named Hannah Montana (who is apparently the alter ego to her alter ego since she also goes by the name Miley Cyrus, despite her name being Destiny Hope Cyrus), has a song where she goes “Whoa whoa whoa” a bunch of times, and is the daughter of a man who sported the second most spectacular mullet of all time (second only to Dog the Bounty Hunter). I never wanted to know these things, but for some reason they’ve entered my scope of knowledge.

Does anyone know if I can have that procedure from “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” and have these things removed from my brain? Does that really exist? Will I have to just crash my car into a tree and hope that I get selective amnesia in all the right places? Seems a little extreme, but it may be my only option at this point.