Lucy Bustamante vs. Melanie Hebert

Mr. Sparkle said
I think Melanie is borderline illiterate. She stumbles through the news every morning in some dyslexic stream of consciousness.

Sometimes I agree.

And not that hawt, either.

You're lucky I don't have the authority to send people to Guantonimo Bay!

I'd probably give the edge to Lucy but it's too close to call, so I won't.