Are Saints Opponents Punch Drunk After Loss

Since we're on the subject, this is a myspace blog of mine that I wrote after the Giants game. It's a little over the top and I wasn't really gonna post it but.............since the subject came up about what has happened to our opponents after their date with the Saints .......here it is....

<LABEL id=pBlogSubject_515282116>New Orleans Saints: Health Alert, or Legalized Crime?</LABEL>
Current mood:Humorous, smack-talk
Category: Sports
<!--- blog body --->There's a strange phenomenon going on in the NFL this year. The New Orleans Saints seem to have EMOTIONALLY CASTRATED each of their first 5 opponents thus far this season. If you consider that their first 5 opponents have come into their respective matchups with the Saints standing 'tall' with a combined 10 -1 record and have fallen to a 'limp' 4-14 (combined) since their 'appointment' with the pride of the Big Easy, you can begin to understand what Im speaking of. The Saints have NEVER trailed in any game thus far this year, have beaten their opponents by an average of 20 pts., and will be taking aim at the manhood of it's future opponents in weeks to come. Let's examine in more detail. In no particular order:

Week 3 Buffalo Bills - The Bills enter week three at 1-1 with only a respectable 1pt loss to team of the decade New England Patriots, as their only blemish. Moreover, Buffalo led the Patriots for 58:54 before falling by 1 and had every reason to believe they were gonna be a player in this year's AFC East race. The Saints, faced with making a long distance house call Buffalo to take on a solid Bills front seven seemed primed for a letdown after scoring the easiest looking 93 points in recent memory in the span of just two games. In a no frills display of stingy defense and the kind of smash mouth offense that would have made any old school pigskin purist once again stand erect, the Saints wore down the Bills in the trenches and brought into question, the masculinity of another backyard bully with an unsaintly, but convincing 20 pt win over the physically whipped Bills. How did Buffalo fare after their meeting with the 2009 Saints? In a case for the textbooks, the effects were immediate, and definitive, as the following week with a chance to get right back into the AFC race, the Bills went down to Miami 38-10, and followed that up with an even less impressive 6-3 loss AT HOME to a Cleveland Brown team that is so punchless that, experts are now beginning to suspect that these same Browns, held a series of secret scrimmages at Saints camp sometime around late summer. This would explain not only the Browns (lack of) performance thus far this year, but could hold a clue to figuring out the pathology behind the noticable twist in backup QB Brady Quinn's gait.

Week 2 Philadelphia Eagles - fresh off an impressive 28 pt road win, the 1-0 Eagles returned home with intentions of dropping some major defense Philly-style on the overhyped Saints offense that got fat by running up 45 pts on a poor defenseless cowardly Detroit Lions team in their home opener. 48pts and 421 net yards later, the Saints leave the city of Brotherly Love on pace break virtually every meaningful offensive record in the history of professional football and a 26 pt skull-dragging of the "stingy" Eagles on their resume. Unlike the other previously undefeated teams on the Saints Patient list, Philly proved to be a tough nut to crack as the Eagles showed that their residual testosterone levels were abnormally elevated and 'manned up' to post 20 and 19 point wins over the ever dangerous Chiefs and Bucs respectively before they could defy science no longer. 3 wks after their matchup with the Saints, the stubborn Eagles predictably fell more suddenly than a traquilized elephant during a shooting of Life in the Serengeti, to the once proud but now totally inept Oakland Raiders 13-9 in this year's most surprising upset to date and possibly the worst perfomance by an Eagles team since Andy Reid became head man.

Week 4 New York Jets - Although both teams entered week 4 undefeated and both were gaining league wide respect on the strength of impressive early season wins, the marquee game of week 4 was not the great matchup in the Superdome between these two undefeated titans. No, keeping with the theme of unexplained loss of testosterone league-wide, 40 yr old Brett Favre's much anticipated tilt vs his former team, the Packers, grabbed the headlines in the week leading up to week 4. However, it was the Saints-Jets matchup that had the league in damage control mode the ensuing week. You see, even though the Jets, led by defensive guru Rex Ryan came into the game with the most feared pass rush in the league, it was the Saints that walked away with all the 'sacks' on this day and the Saints with one swing of the Juju, seemingly turned the Cinderella Jets into true-life Cinderellas, as the once undefeated Jets have been winless ever since.

Week 5 New York Giants - The NFL's marquee matchup of the week pitted the 5-0 Giants arguably the best team in the league vs the 4-0 Saints. The Giants, known for their physicality on both sides of the ball entered the game ranked 1st in total defense and 2nd in total offense. The matchup of these Giants, vs a Saints team still trying to shake the reputation of being a finesse team only, had prognosticators licking their chops at the thought of the Giants, located at the heart of the media capitol of the world, putting the pesky Saints in their place once and for all. What took place after kickoff on Sunday was one of the most one-sided, comprehensive, confidence-robbing, physical, mental, and emotional, beat downs that such a game between two undefeated teams this deep into the season has ever witnessed. With Drew Brees slinging the ball to every quadrant of the field with the precision of a urologist, Marques Colston outclassing every DB on the Giant roster, Shockey and Lance Moore claiming more territory in the Giants secondary than the Dutch West India Company and Robert Meachum removing any pride the Giants may have had left by gutting them deep, the Saints had hung 48 pts on the manly Giants before the fat lady could as much as clear her throat. The legendary New York pass rush didn't lay a fake fingernail on Brees all day and once the Giants were sufficiently secured in prone position, the Saints mercifully called off the attack after hardly breaking a good sweat.................... G-Men?............we'll soon find out.

Week 1 - The Detroit Lions. With all the talk of low testosterone levels, I decided to save this game for last. Disappointingly, tests results could detect no measureable testosterone levels among the Lions pregame so, no comparison can be made but for the record, the Saints scored 45 on the defenseless Lions and the Lions have posted a 1-4 record since. No trace has yet to be found, apparently everything went as expected.

Ray Johnson