No, in all seriousness, the jist of your post is correct. Teenagers are not emotionally mature enough to even fully comprehend what a "relationship" actually entails muchless engage in one. I know some teenagers get married and even have happy marriages, but the success rate is statistically dramatically lower.
So any adult engaging in any kind of relationship with a teenager is, frankly, abusive. Because the teenager just isn't emotionally equipped to handle it, to be a consenting partner. It, at best, demonstrates severe emotional stunting on the adults part and, at worst, demonstrates some perverse idealized fascination with "innocence" and control. Either way, it's not healthy.