i usually stay in Courtyard Marriotts when i'm on the road, so i'm definitely not a 5 star guy either.. i just need a place that's clean, fairly quiet and with a functioning A/C.
Went to an LSU versus Mississippi State game at the last minute a few years ago. Only room we could book was at a roach hotel out there. Ended up getting there lat that night to find out they rented our room out thinking we were not going to make. Of course nothing else 100 miles around that God forsaken place.
After moaning and groaning, they offered us a free room that had flooded that day. Four of us stayed in a room with soaking wet carpet that smelled like an old strip club. Of course sleeping on that carpet probably would have been better than sleeping on the beds. I actually slept fully clothed, shoes on and all. Anything better than that is a 5 star to me now.