I am sorry you are dealing with that it makes life very difficult. The anger outbursts are tough because personally after that I feel incredible guilt. Those pain pills(or any opioids) are the number one path to you addiction they get you hooked then cut you off and you need something to keep you from withdraws. Exercise is key and try mindfulness look it up it is hard it's keying in on any one item a focus while clearing the mind I guess it's meditation really also I am going to get into Tai Chi another great method. You hang in there I am pulling for you.