Sorry you feel that way. I go see the God of the entire universe every day on my lunch break in an Adoration Chapel, and I get to consume Him at every mass I attend. Works for me. Hope what you are doing works for you.
When you’re talking to god on your lunch break, do me a favor, and say a prayer for my altar boy and classmate friends in grade school who were violently sexually offended, and consequently ****ed up for life... Because i can 100% assure you, Catholicism or whatever you’re consuming, did not, at all, ‘work for them.’