I did go to see my grandfather yesterday
Thanks to everyone who said to go
We spent a couple hours with him and I'm glad he was awake and having a good day (he sleeps a lot and was asleep all day the day before, I was told he can also be out of it with all the medication he's on even when he's up)
We didn't have any tear filled heart to heart - that's not his style or mine - but we really enjoyed the visit
It's hitting me that I'm probably never going to see him again and that hurts like hell