Young couple goes on van tour of US, boy comes back with van - no girl

Madmarsha said

I am having a thought. I love all of you guys here. But this discussion brings up the thought of me wondering if there are men here on this message board (not necessarily in this thread) who have abused just thinking about what the statistics are. And, okay, maybe not here because you're all great; but I also wonder sometimes about just the people we come across either in our worklife or church life or gym life, etc., etc. You KNOW we all know someone who abuses we just don't know it and sometimes I just look around like maybe at a restaurant and think, Which one of you is it? I've had the thought when in a group of woman because I know the statistic is 1 in 4. So if I'm in a random group of, say, over 20 women I know there has to be at least 1 or 2 cos I know it's not me.

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Tell me if this counts: almost 40 years ago, my ex and I had been arguing for a couple of hours when finally I unilaterally call it quits well after midnight. She wants to keep arguing but I ignore her because I have to get up for work at 4, so I go to sleep. She waits until I actually fall asleep and then throws a full glass of cold water straight in my face. I come out of the bed like a jack-in-the-box, grab her by the arms and push (not shove or hurl) her against the wall before I fully wake up and let her go, and just get ready and head to work early.

Just kidding — mind you, that is actually what happened but I don’t need anyone to tell me that I showed incredible restraint for a 20 year old. My point actually is that, no matter what the provocation, there’s no excuse for physical abuse. You walk away.

Btw, she’s freshly on husband #4 now. Meanwhile, my wife and I are in year 34, and I have no doubt if I ever laid a finger on her she’d be out the door and not look back.