Tell me if this counts: almost 40 years ago, my ex and I had been arguing for a couple of hours when finally I unilaterally call it quits well after midnight. She wants to keep arguing but I ignore her because I have to get up for work at 4, so I go to sleep. She waits until I actually fall asleep and then throws a full glass of cold water straight in my face. I come out of the bed like a jack-in-the-box, grab her by the arms and push (not shove or hurl) her against the wall before I fully wake up and let her go, and just get ready and head to work early.
Just kidding — mind you, that is actually what happened but I don’t need anyone to tell me that I showed incredible restraint for a 20 year old. My point actually is that, no matter what the provocation, there’s no excuse for physical abuse. You walk away.
Btw, she’s freshly on husband #4 now. Meanwhile, my wife and I are in year 34, and I have no doubt if I ever laid a finger on her she’d be out the door and not look back.