Young couple goes on van tour of US, boy comes back with van - no girl

guidomerkinsrules said

and Marsha what I was implying before about the gun is that dealing with DV by coaching girls seems like fixing gun violence by teaching people how to dodge bullets - obviously we want to teach girls/women* how to protect themselves, but stopping someone before the become abusers seems much more effective

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Now I understand. I think what I'm saying here isn't hitting the mark. I've said it other places about wanting to "educate" young woman and got accused of victim blaming. That's not what it means. And it also doesn't mean, well, we just let "boys be boys", I just didn't mention "educating" boys. But I also don't know who the hell I think should do this "educating".

I think it's a much deeper desire to engender self sufficiency, self esteem -- and, yes, "empowerment" -- that the world seems to want to stifle in women. And if you were modeled abusive relationships growing up to learn how to outgrow it.

Which makes me very lucky I wasn't modeled that. But if I had been, does that mean "doomed" to repeat it? I've told my example and kizzy has illustrated hers that we're 2 women that just weren't going to stand for that the first time it happens. I want ALL young women to learn this, which is what is behind my statements of "educating women".