Surprise Emergency Room Bill

Years ago I went to the ER because I was throwing up all day. They asked, "Are you pregnant?" I said, "Well, haven't had sex in 6 months so I doubt it." "We better check anyway." So, I took a pregnancy test. Results were negative. I wish my response would have been, "One of us doesn't understand how conception works."

Never did find out why I was puking but it stopped. With all these horror stories, I'm never going to the ER again unless I'm unconscious and somebody drives me there.
Exactly. Or if something's hanging out and I can't get it back in. I often worry about things on the inside pushing through to the outside (our skin is hella flimsy when you think about it).

And maybe sudden blindness. I could Uber to the ER or just wait to "see" a specialist.