Im 35 years old and live with my 81 year old grandmother

Also, take a step back and be grateful. You're in a good position. You don't have the financial/emotional responsibility of a wife or kids. You can easily have 50 or so good years left to live if you live well. The world is open to you. If you continue to compare yourself to American popular culture's idea of success then you risk losing out on much of what life has to offer.