Im 35 years old and live with my 81 year old grandmother

Crzycjunx76 said
That was/is the hardest thing to figure out.

My parents always put on such a great façade of having it together and figured out.
It was only in my late 30's that I found out there was an affair, near divorce, arguments over how to raise me, near foreclosure, etc... I judged myself against the image my parents presented to me and where society said I should be in life... and I could not figure out how I could possibly be what I was "supposed" to be, figured I was just a hopeless fork up.

Yeah stop comparing yourself to others....I had to cut that sheet out

Only 2 things kept me from ending my life. The first was I knew it would hurt my parents and I couldn't do that. The second was my two dogs lol

I stopped judging my life by where others were and now I just look to be better than I was yesterday. A big part of it for me was that between the injuries and depression, I had put on a lot of weight so I focused on that and adopted a healthy lifestyle. I basically decided i couldn't do much about what life did to me, but only how I respond to it and certainly what I put in my mouth. It gave me the sense of discipline, challenge, and accomplishment I needed.

There are no guarantees....I may not find anybody, I may not get another business. That's life. But I also knew that the way that I was, I had pretty much 0% chance of getting what I wanted in life