Im 35 years old and live with my 81 year old grandmother

Yea I pretty much agree with the separation of marriage/family goals from financial/housing goals. I think that’s a pretty good line to draw.

I think though that setting some concrete financial goals, with timelines, could be beneficial in getting those more “organic” goals like marriage and family to happen. Also, for someone who feels physically unattractive, some concrete health goals will go a long way towards improving attractiveness, as well.

I think for people in the OP’s situation, it’s important not just to commiserate, but also to provide ideas for concrete steps to take that can improve the situation. You can only control what you can control...but there ARE things you can control.