Sorry you're going through all of that, I really don't know what to say, but I will say that you're not alone...I have a non-verbal autistic 8 year old. I think sheet isn't going to change until it happens to someone important...you think it's bad in Colorado, it's absolute garbage in Louisiana.
You see in movies all the time where there are these special schools that take these kids in and turn them into autistic wonder-people, super efficient autistic hitmen and so on but the reality is far from it. To me, its all a lie the rest of the world puts out there to make itself feel better about not doing enough.
After diagnosis...its a life sentence for us parents, where it feels like each day is worse than the last, where physically going to work feels like a vacation...you end up having these endless meetings with schools/therapy centers where things are said/promised, but never delivered...You feel like life is a effed up joke where everyone else gets to live a normal life, go on vacations, not replace TVs 2x year, not deal with flooded bathrooms/holes in the walls/broken furniture and have happy marriages, and so on....but none of that is meant for you. I've resigned myself to accepting that he's pretty much going to be the cause of my death one day...the ironic part is that I saved his life as an infant....God works in mysterious ways, I guess.
sheet just sucks....sorry for jacking your thread to vent.