Mental illness as an autistic child.

Hey Rick, I'm so sorry for what you and your wife are going through. It is scary and exhausting and yes, mental health infrastructure in this country is poor. I've mentioned on this board before about my middle kid who has spent several months off and on in mental hospitals and residential treatment centers for severe suicidal ideation (and one incident of homicidal ideation). It basically sucks. We've done the 24/7 watches, with the doors taken off of his room and we still have all medicines and sharp objects locked in a safe.

Our situation is not exactly the same, but it has gotten better for us in recent months. We have his medication dialed in - but it took a while, and it often feels like you're experimenting on your kid.

For autism, I will second what Ward has said, and make sure you're confident in your kid's diagnosis and what makes him tick. We've had two friends with a child with fairly strong autism, who are now considered mainstreamed and high functioning, but it took a very long time and very, very expensive schools/therapists (like 40-50K per year). Basically, it involved a lot of one on one work to rewire their neural pathways and reward centers.

Finally, remember to practice self care. This is super stressful and draining for everyone -- make sure you and your wife are taking care of yourselves and each other.