Six percent of people think they can beat a grizzly bear

A new study shines a light on the depths of delusion and wrongness in the heart of man, as YouGov has released a new study on just what members of the animal kingdom Americans think they could take on.

Of the 15 animals listed, rat came in last place, with 72 percent of Americans thinking they could take on a rat. Even that sounds a little optimistic, because rats are faster than you, can evade your attacks as long as they want and were responsible for a plague that wiped out one-third of Europe.

But it’s toward the bottom of the list where things start to get interesting again. Eight percent of Americans actually believe they could beat a gorilla, an elephant and a lion in a fight – almost certainly the same eight percent. These people are out of their gourds, obviously, since even the laziest elephant could win this fight on accident or perhaps even realizing a fight was going on.

And then six percent of Americans who’ve watched The Revenant too many times actually think they could win a fight with a grizzly bear. A grizzly bear! A male grizzly bear can weigh up to 1,700 pounds. What exactly are these guys thinking they’re going to do against a 1,700 grizzly bear? Put it in a headlock? “Go for the eyes,” probably.

Guys are always talking about how they’re going to go for the eyes. Sure thing, fellas. Just jam your arm right up next to its mouth and put your fingers in its eyes. Make sure to get a video too, so we can all evaluate your crushing victory………

https://relevantmagazine.com/curren...d-beat-a-grizzly-bear-in-hand-to-hand-combat/
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So, here is the thing. I wrestled a bear once. (I have pictorial evidence and witnesses. Lots of witnesses. A Southland Mall worth of witnesses.) A trained bear, supposedly one of the bears used on Gentle Ben. The bear was trained by a wrestler named Truesdale if I recall correctly. The bear would down a Coke at the end of every "match". It was some kind of tour or promotion where this guy was taking the bear from town to town.

Count me as not part of the 6%.

Even a declawed, defanged bear is quite agile. Honestly, I ended up laughing so hard at the ridiculousness of an 18-year-old me being in the ring with this bear draped over me. The trainer kept saying, "throw him over your shoulder....throw him over your shoulder!" as if a skinny kid like me could throw a 700 or 800-pound bear anywhere, much less over my shoulder.

I did last about 3 minutes. It seemed an eternity. But it is a funny story to tell and I'll have to dig out the pics.