You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

Goatman Saint said

Honestly, looking back (my son now 29/daughter 24) I can honestly say the vast majority of dads, and parents in general absolutely suck. I guess 26 years in education paired with 27 for my wife has jaded me. I’m not afraid to say my kids are extremely successful, even with the challenges they have had. But the never questioned part is that both my wife and I were absolutely there for them no questions asked.

I see far too much of the guy threatening and intimidating their kids and far too little of the other

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My wife and I are welcoming our first child into the world next year. I am 42 and she is 41.

I honestly think I will be a much better parent now than at age 25-30. I have learned so much in the last decade and a half. I know that in stressful moments I fall back onto the way I was raised. Back then I thought yelling and name calling was normal. But at least I know it and I actively TRY not to act that way.

Sometimes I snap at my wife during an argument the way he used to and it just makes me feel like total crap. I gotta get that TOTALLY under control before the kid comes. I never want to treat my kid the way I was treated.

It's not that my folks were bad people, but they had ZERO idea how to raise a child. It was very much a "spare the rod" kind of upbringing. They thought they were doing it right and I turned out OK in their eyes so they feel justified. They have no idea the baggage I carry from all those experiences.