My wife and I are welcoming our first child into the world next year. I am 42 and she is 41.
I honestly think I will be a much better parent now than at age 25-30. I have learned so much in the last decade and a half. I know that in stressful moments I fall back onto the way I was raised. Back then I thought yelling and name calling was normal. But at least I know it and I actively TRY not to act that way.
Sometimes I snap at my wife during an argument the way he used to and it just makes me feel like total crap. I gotta get that TOTALLY under control before the kid comes. I never want to treat my kid the way I was treated.
It's not that my folks were bad people, but they had ZERO idea how to raise a child. It was very much a "spare the rod" kind of upbringing. They thought they were doing it right and I turned out OK in their eyes so they feel justified. They have no idea the baggage I carry from all those experiences.