You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

My wife and I are welcoming our first child into the world next year. I am 42 and she is 41.

I honestly think I will be a much better parent now than at age 25-30. I have learned so much in the last decade and a half. I know that in stressful moments I fall back onto the way I was raised. Back then I thought yelling and name calling was normal. But at least I know it and I actively TRY not to act that way.

Sometimes I snap at my wife during an argument the way he used to and it just makes me feel like total crap. I gotta get that TOTALLY under control before the kid comes. I never want to treat my kid the way I was treated.

It's not that my folks were bad people, but they had ZERO idea how to raise a child. It was very much a "spare the rod" kind of upbringing. They thought they were doing it right and I turned out OK in their eyes so they feel justified. They have no idea the baggage I carry from all those experiences.
Congrats on the upcoming baby. Patience is key with a kid and fortunately the older you get the more patience you have. Unfortunately the older you get the less energy you have haha. You and your wife will sleep good haha