Could you go on the run?

if i was a paranoid MOFO i could have had all this nailed down years ago...Some of you all know i buy storage units for a living ...i have bought over a 1000 units in my career...you know how many DLs, SS cards, Birth Certs, etc i get in the processing of my units...I could have had several new identities for myself and my family...Instead i do boring crap like shread and burn them...If the previous owners reach out and have always given them back but most dont ever reach out.
We will be calling you when we go on the run.