I've been thru the whole. no self exercise too. Essentially, I see myself as an app running on complicated biological hardware. I am the code which is me and independent of the body, but still filled with a lifetime of mistakes and triumphs which have molded my perceptions into how I think.
To me the self to know is the one where I understand how actions make me feel. I was originally coded to disconnect and do 'social' activities because it would give me meaning. I reject this now and seek out real social activity which does give me meaning.
Only by rejecting the social pressure to 'belong' did I truly learn myself. After that, the need to belong paled while the feeling of the right connection improved.
The problem with explaining it is that so few words exist to convey the right meaning. It's like the saying 'let it be'. The words are simple, but the meaning is different to each person depending on the reason they found to apply that saying if ever.