Anti Loneliness Club

guidomerkinsrules said

Interesting
While sure there is ‘social pressure to belong’ (in proscribed social roles/dynamics), ‘belonging’ seems a biological imperative
I mean Freud’s whole thing was trying to breakout of Victorian social strictures, but it’s not a zero sum game
Sure longstanding expectations can throttle ability for individual expression/exploration, but is there really a way to eliminate social norms without compromising biological imperative?

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There is definitely benefit in belonging so it can feel like an imperative. Like anything else tho, too much can be a bad thing. As an introvert with social anxiety issues, that imperative is greatly muted. I get nothing but frustration from talking about surface things like the Beyonce concert or whatever the latest craze happens to be. Until I understood myself, I felt bad for not wanting to engage in that imperative. I get that community here and it suits me fine as I don't like my personal space invaded but talking here feels right.

That said, I spent the day after Thanksgiving cooking for family, helping my granddaughter put ornaments on the tree, and then walking thru the lights down at City Park. In those instances I had connection which met my needs. It was quality vs quantity. I could have spent twice the time with a group of coworkers only wanting to escape because they're all making small talk about celebrities or some such activity which is equally as popular to others while completely senseless to me.

And if I'm alone on that, I get it. I understand that others want and need that and I wouldn't even consider trying to stop or tell them they are wrong.

I only chimed in because I know I'm not alone. And folks like me can easily get over run by stronger personalities and pressures. So I put my story out there in case someone else is reading and recognizes a bit about themselves which makes them question if they are living life like they were taught or like they want.