Are we going to talk about that thing that no one's talking about

All I meant is that it’s a useful exercise to really try to look inward in those situations, and try to identify the base emotion behind my reaction.

I have no idea what you personally were feeling when you heard that comment, so I’m not implying that you felt the same thing that I did. I do clearly remember what my immediate reaction was: “You elitist, out-of-touch *****!” Then, as a boy from Da Parish, I took a few beats to explore where that emotional reaction was coming from: childhood feelings of inadequacy; young adult doubts of my own worth and value; and early career imposter syndrome born in an environment amongst London and New York “elites”.

Once I identified that, the power of her idiotic statement over me was gone, and it was clear to me that the statement was solely a reflection of her, not me or the people and home that I love and care for. And THEN I reacted to it accordingly.
Ah, okay, I get your angle now. I very much reacted to the word from the personal perspective that it was insulting the people I am related to, grew up with, am friends with, went to school with. And other than that, it was, as you said, reflective of it being elitist and myopically dismissive of the Americans in "flyover country". In other words, it was like a politician saying, Don't vote for me, I don't need your votes, when, clearly, you do.