An Unbreakable Bond: For the Saints and their fans, it’s about more than football

Scorpius the Allfather said

Here's a true story, I became an alter boy to Father Elias because I hated waiting for mass to end, so I became a part of it to help it go by faster.

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I'm picturing an alter boy sprinting up and down the aisle with the crucifix.
Most of the priests over the years kept it quick on game days since they figured we weren't paying attention anyway.