These two things point to the dilemma. NATO, other than US, was perfectly fine shirking and allowing US to handle it all. They didn't need or want to step up because we became the default security blanket.
By standing aside somewhat, it forces other NATO countries to uphold their own end of the treaty. This wasn't going to happen so long as big brother was around to fight all their battles.
The US has done plenty and part of that is forcing the rest of Europe to take an active role in their own defense imo. We might be the last to approve of some things, but it's forcing those other countries to realize they cannot and should not become over reliant on the US.
Ukraine pays the price unfortunately, but this is as much on NATO partners as it is on the US. We simply cannot ignore Taiwan\China etc to provide Europe a safety net.