i appreciate you sharing all of that - and i value what you say
for me 'not racist' is not a destination but a process - in a way like how people talk about marriage being work
a guy declaring "I'm a good husband" seems a bit suspect bc he's only part of the equation - and I would infer that him saying 'i'm a good husband' is actually a bit suspect - him saying "I try to be a good husband" seems a more apt framing
most of the board knows my wife is AA and therefore my kids are - and I would never declare myself 'not racist' and I can't imagine how hard she would roll her eyes (at best) if I ever did say something like that
but I continually run up against (usually small) prejudices here and there that I must acknowledge and need to work on
I don't think i'm bigoted, but I certainly have prejudices