Kids leaving the nest...

I have a 21 yr old about to be in her last year in College and I have ramped up the "talks" over last 3 months about living expenses and what to expect/not expect.

Initially, for her first 2 years we stressed that education was important, so our financial support would be there. Now in year 3, we are weening her off the teet, and she is going to struggle here initially. But as i explained, better to learn NOW than 5 years from now when you have over-extended yourself and look to us to bail you out and there is no bail out. They learn quite fast. ( she just talked to her boss and obtained more hours starting in Jan 2025 ! )

But every child is different, yeah? so some have to fail to learn, others are so afraid of failure that it can be a negative. You try to find that balance in there somewhere and hope they are prepared to understand just how important financial well-being is but at same time learning along the way. And i mean "living within your means" ( inside your budget ) If you can pull that off, you remove much of the stress that comes with finances.

As a parent, i want to give my girls EVERYTHING. But i also know that i cant without consequence when it comes to money. You just hope you have educated them well enough to operate inside the system, be there to help them up if they stumble, ( but allow them to pick themselves up ), and let them learn on their own, in their way.

This is a real conversation to have and im glad im not the only parent harboring some reservations about this.

my 21 yr old has a serious BF, they speaking of engagement :sick: and doing what 21 yr olds who are looking at the future do, talking about moving in, home/life etc. They have some lofty ideas. I had to recently explain the difference between goals and expectations. Two TOTALLY different things. Her BF is starting to feel pressure about being able to "support" them upon graduation, unsure of himself and what he plans on doing. As i explained ( and will continue to explain ), you dont need to "arrive" at 24 yrs old. I didnt arrive here until i was in my late 40s. So dont equate what you see around you here now, to what to expect in your first few years of your career. It takes time. And as a couple, you will find a way to make ends meet. But never be too proud to say a particular line of work is "beneath you" if it pays the bills. Continue that path til you find what you are looing for. The pressures young adults face is real. Keeping up with the Jones' is real. Luckily for him, my daughter is as laid back and non-materialistic as they come ( my youngest - that the BOUGIE one lol ) so you just have to focus on what makes yall happy. Doesnt mean you need to buy a home at 23 yrs old. You do what you can afford at the time. If that means apartment, thats what you do. If it means at home for a short period of time, ok. ( But REAL SHORT or you start paying rent lolol )

anyway- i digress. i think you, like many parents today, will come to understand that its part of letting go. You did your part, and you hope well enough to send them out in the world, somewhat prepared and go from there.

All the best. I too will be watching this with interest.

Now if you will excuse me, i gotta go make some $$$ to support my kids lololol. ( and work til im 70 )