All I Want for Christmas Contest 2024!

I emerged from my bunker to find the radio...is not working. My newly hired security forces offed Mariah's henchmen and it seems the radio is offline, so my counter-counter revolution was successful and I have once again assumed the position of tinpot dictator-for-life over the rehab gym radio.

Vive la revolution!!!
And that quickly it's been retaken. My no-account security forces fled when the henchmen returned. I must hire better-quality thugs. I will re-institute the press gangs. I have now fled to the hills where I will plot my next move.

I'm amazed I'm still not kilt.

edit: Oh god, I spoke too soon. My demise cannot be far off. I just heard Wham. That means the henchmen are on my trail. I am almost kilt, but not quite ded yet.