clearing the deck - the marriage status thread

Bro, please accept this virtual hug from me.
Marriage is difficult. I can say this about any relationship that has meaning, but marriage stands apart from anything else, IMO. To me, you have to want it everyday and I also don’t think it’s supposed to be hard. My goal in life with the people that I love or honestly, people in general, is to make their lives easier.

My wife and I have been married for 25 years. I say this with many emotions behind it: proud of it, but it’s been a lot. A lot. Raising two children with two opposite parenting styles has been our biggest challenge. My wife’s first response to almost anything that doesn’t fit into her “box”, is anger, frustration, NO! or all three. And she’s a yeller. My response to just about anything is “let me try to understand before making a decision”. I’m very reserved and I have a low voice. So through both of my kids’ lives, it’s been a “good cop/bad cop”situation for just about everything. It’s been exhausting - even with them both in college, trying to help them navigate young adulthood and responsibility without overwhelming them has been extremely challenging. When they were little, there were plenty of times that I never wanted to come home from work but it was never because of the kids. There were years when I knew the only reasons I stayed faithful, present, bit my tongue, and came home everyday was just for those two rug rats.
I said all this to say that while we’ve never separated, my mind has gone there. The last 2-3 years have overall been better, but it still requires patience and understanding. I’m sure my wife could write a book about me, so no, it’s not all her. Enough about me though.

I can’t give advice as I am no expert at all and I don’t think you were seeking any - just putting yourself out there which I admire you for - takes courage to talk about these things. I hope everything works out well for you and anyone else dealing with similar issues.