clearing the deck - the marriage status thread

Hope you’re taking care of yourself. During difficult times it’s easy to fall into unhealthy patterns because of all of the stress, but it’s so important to do the small things like eat well, exercise, get enough sleep, get some sun etc. You’re doing awesome with your kids, but don’t forget yourself either.

I was married about 6 years. I thought we were perfect for eachother. We enjoyed the same music, enjoyed nature, would go on vacations every year, and had a comfortable life. I was blind sided when i found out she was making plans without me and suddenly all this stuff came out that I was unaware of. We tried to work it out via counseling, but the trust wasn’t there anymore and we wound up getting a divorce. Definitely the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through.

It’s been a good 5 years since then, and I still miss her. I went through all stages of grief, and I can tell you that when it happens, it can feel catastrophic and the grief and anger can stay with you for a while. The only way I was able to get to the acceptance part was to focus on the positives and tell myself that it was mostly a great experience even though it ended the way it did. My ex wife had regret, but i hope that she came to the same conclusion that I did too. Another one of the few positives about splitting or divorcing is self discovery. You learn so much about yourself, and the strength you use to get through carries over to other areas of your life.

There is very little in life that is permanent: Including the grief and stress of dealing with separation or divorce. You work through it. Counseling helps a lot. Get in contact with old friends. Or hell just vent on here. Take care of yourself!