clearing the deck - the marriage status thread

Tough. Lots of good replies above.

I had a failed marriage: married at barely 20, split by barely 24. Swore I wouldn’t even think of getting married again until I was 40. Just three years later, I got engaged again less than three months after first meeting wife #2. 36 years later, we’re still happily married. So I should have plenty of good advice, right?

Nope.

A lot of it’s just luck — mostly the type where your separate spousal growth patterns are like the Rouse’s grocery cart races during Saints games; they’re not running even all the time, but they’re following the same course and always within close spitting distance of one another. That’s just luck.

And even when you’re lucky in that regard like my wife and I are, well, even remaining very much in love and lust we’ve still had a couple of pretty rough spots to get through. When that happens, as Taxpe noted, it’s impossible unless both parties are committed to make it through because it’s what they want FOR THEMSELVES. Trying to push a string won’t advance anything.

So, not much advice to give. Just sending good thoughts your way, and maybe a suggestion to simply zen your way through the coming months and years. Let life, and the relationships in it, come to you naturally. Carve out space for yourself, stay engaged with people in the spheres that you enjoy, and don’t focus the entirety of your life on the kids and work.

Oh, and (in the long run) you’ll never regret taking the high road, even if she takes the low one. The old “never wrestle with a pig” thing….