clearing the deck - the marriage status thread

Sorry for what you're going through Guido,it's a tough road to navigate. Glad you reached out to us, this board is often my therapy and I appreciate everyone here and the support we lend each other.
I could write a book on this subject and I am sure many of us could.
Based on my beliefs and experiences I don't think finding your life partner is just happenstance. Married 34 years, both of our 2nd marriage. We both had been cheated on. I was my mid 20s, dating a dear old friend who loved me and I should have felt the same way but there was something missing for me. Then he asked me to marry him. I finally took a hard look at myself and thought that I was too damaged to love anyone again. I broke it off with him, realizing I was hurting him by staying. I asked God (I was raised in a strict Catholic home but naturally grew away as we do in our youth, but still believed that God exists) anyway, asked if I would ever love anyone again.
About 2 weeks later I accidentally met a guy in a crowded bar. Instant attraction to each other. He was newly separated with a young daughter, he had finally had enough of her running around on him, his self esteem was very low, mine too. I fell for him like a brick thrown out the window. I realized that I had never Really loved before. It was rocky for a while as he worked through the divorce, I was past mine by then. I was patient with him, not my usual self but it came naturally with him. We married a year and a half later. I have always believed that we were gifts given to each other by someone much bigger than us. Marriage is hard and it's not for everyone. We agree and accept that we will be together to the end. We are opposite personalities but enjoy the same things. 2024 was our toughest year, I have a back issue that has basically rendered us roommates, intimacy wise. Throw in a total hysterectomy that steals the last hormone I had left. To say the least my husband is a saint. Laughing has been essential, as is reminding oneself to be grateful for the other. If we were 15 years younger I don't know if we would have made through a 2024, aging seems to solidify a marriage, if there is enough love there.
I've been too long winded, time to let y'all off the hook. I wish the best to you who are struggling, you have friends here if you want to talk.