clearing the deck - the marriage status thread

guidomerkinsrules said

while undoubtedly true, it does remind me of what I wrote about being in grad school and having an open LDR
I felt that as long as I was honest with potential paramours then I was being responsible
but my actions had consequences that spread wider than the little safety net i'd built for myself

sure you can break up with anyone for any reason and don't really need to provide any explanation, but some consideration should be paid to potential effect
doesn't mean you should change your actions, but acknowledge your actions effect more than just yourself

TBC, I'm not saying CCS did this in the slightest - her text to the guy carried more communication about wants than my wife has been able to provide in the last few years (and I admittedly swallowed a lot just to avoid potential fights)

Click to expand...

The rules of engagement were considerably different when we were in our 20's. Our lives for the most part weren't full of divorce, drama, peace bonds, and exes from long-term relationships. I was honest as I needed to be with the women I dated. That can be interpreted as "if you want the answer then ask the question, but don't ask the question unless you're ready for the answer" That said, I treated the women I dated with dignity and respect, even if there were multiple paramours.

This is how, when you're dating three women, two show up at the same men's slow-pitch softball game, each completely unaware of the existence of the other. Needless to say, those two relationships ended in a mushroom cloud and a crater to the eternal delight of my teammates who had gleefully maintained I would eventually self-immolate.

I did learn from my mistake. The third woman never got within a mile of my stupid softball games nor anywhere near my idiot teammates.