Any advice for a 1st time dad (1 Viewer)

Super2510

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My wife has 2 kids from previous marriage one boy 7 and one boy 11. I have been the only father in their lives since they were one and 5. MY first born is coming in 2 months. We are excited to have her. It being my wife's third and the fact that I was with her from first year of life until now for one of her kids sometimes she forgets that this will be the first that I will be around from birth, to have at home as a newborn. Everyone says that even though I have been raising her's as mine and calling them mine and it will be different. What advice do you have for someone with their first newborn on the way?
 

KiwiSaint

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I would say that you shouldn’t say “first time Dad”...as you have been a father to your other two sons, so “third time Dad” would be better. It really shouldn’t be different from the other two and it’s important that they not feel like they’re on the second team. I’ll leave the newborn baby advice to others, but I think your most important parenting job will be to make your other two sons feel secure and just as important as the new baby. Mom’s attention and time will be taken by the newborn, so it would be easy for the older boys to feel neglected. You’ve got to fill the void.
 

zeetes

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my advice, don't sell coke. trust me.

i didn't know my dad. he died before i made four.

being a dad is tough. even though my own father died after being run off the road, he protected me.

it isn't an easy transition to raising, worse gaining the trust of that which you create.

thankfully, after 2k, teachings are much more adaptable.

both of my brothers grew up fantastic. zero support from my lazy stepfather.

if you interact with your child, you are already a great parent.

you can do no wrong by talking and loving.

anyway, a serious congratulations.
 
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guidomerkinsrules

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What Kiwi says

The first 6-9 months is doing whatever mom needs you to do - don’t underestimate the work she’s putting in, and prepare for the new hormones coming in
If y’all aren’t cosleeping be the one who gets the baby and bring to mom
Step up your cooking and cleaning game
You job as daddy starts in about 9 months
But this is the most important husband job you have
 

The Nomad

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Mine are grown and we have gotten along very well now with them in their 20's and 30's. Never be afraid to be honest. Don't be afraid to tell the truth about difficult subject matter. Granted, this isn't as relevant with newborns, but in my experience, if you think of children as people they turn out well adjusted.
 

Marty_Graw

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Step 1 - Make sure it's actually yours
Step 2 - What were you thinking? Contraceptive methods are still reasonably inexpensive.
Step 3 - Don't allow him/her to grow up with aspirations of being an attorney or a dance instructor. That will never end well. Neither will allowing him/her to grow up as an Australian, alligator empathizer.

Good Luck!
 

GrayMatter78

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Like Kiwi said, do your best to make your other kids feel as special. That is important even if they are your biological children. The baby will prefer mom at first (and maybe forever) but there is a window at about 9 to 18 months where she'll be wrapped around your finger.
 

Swamprat

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We have three, all in their 20s now...

For sure your life will be changing for the better...As others have mentioned, pay attention to Mom and help her out as much as possible. Cook, clean, change diapers, baby feeding, shop, take the boys out for a while, bring them to their school/sports activities and etc.. I'd also suggest for you to take the lead in a coordinated approach with the boys to cover some of these things, their active involvement would help Mom immensely. And don't forget about the perspective of the older ones, they've been receiving all the attention and now someone else is joining the gang and they may feel 'distanced'... hence, the suggestion of coordinated participation and involvement, with a splash of something for them.

If the newbie is a girl, those two boys are likely to be strong protectors of their lil Sis. If it's a boy, they'll make sure he'll be eating dog food out of a bowl by the time he's three.

.... I heard this so many times, but it's difficult to fully comprehend until you're there. Fully appreciate every moment you have with those young ones. Sure, they'll be the leaky dirty diaper, 103deg fever at 3am, broken windows, door knob holes in the sheet rock but there's also the final round of the 4th grade spelling bee, first goal in soccer, learning the types of matter, learning to ride a bike, starting a siphon for gas and forgetting to cover the tube, and many hundreds of other things. You're in a special time, but it won't last forever.... In fact, it's "blink of an eye" fast. I always told my kids I wished I had the "remote control for life" so I could hit the pause button and enjoy it a while, I never could find that button... These days, the loudest thing in my house is the fridge.... I miss 'em.
 

MLU

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My wife has 2 kids from previous marriage one boy 7 and one boy 11. I have been the only father in their lives since they were one and 5. MY first born is coming in 2 months. We are excited to have her. It being my wife's third and the fact that I was with her from first year of life until now for one of her kids sometimes she forgets that this will be the first that I will be around from birth, to have at home as a newborn. Everyone says that even though I have been raising her's as mine and calling them mine and it will be different. What advice do you have for someone with their first newborn on the way?
1) Hold her every chance you get. Don't listen to people telling you to put her down, let her cry, etc. **** that ****.

2) You will probably feel closer to the newborn. We have helped raise neices and I consider them my own, but my blood daughter is different. Just try to be conscious of how the two boys see you.

3) For girls, confidence is a big deal. Start early. @Oye can recommend a good book. I forget the title.

4) Love their mom. It's the best gift you can give a child.
 

guidomerkinsrules

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Step 1 - Make sure it's actually yours
Step 2 - What were you thinking? Contraceptive methods are still reasonably inexpensive.
Step 3 - Don't allow him/her to grow up with aspirations of being an attorney or a dance instructor. That will never end well. Neither will allowing him/her to grow up as an Australian, alligator empathizer.

Good Luck!
Obviously
 

guidomerkinsrules

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1) Hold her every chance you get. Don't listen to people telling you to put her down, let her cry, etc. **** that ****.

2) You will probably feel closer to the newborn. We have helped raise neices and I consider them my own, but my blood daughter is different. Just try to be conscious of how the two boys see you.

3) For girls, confidence is a big deal. Start early. @Oye can recommend a good book. I forget the title.

4) Love their mom. It's the best gift you can give a child.
This?

 

UndeadSnoopy

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Don't go for that loaf of bread.

Don't listen to Springsteen's "Hungry Heart".

Hang in there.

It's worth it.
 

Outbackjack

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As far as activities.....

Put her in tennis at a young age.

Expose her to it....then If she doesn’t like it, cool.

If she does, even better.

It’s a sport that can be played her entire life.
It has so many great athletic skills that translates to other sports. It also has life skills that develop in tennis.

Also, teach her to swim before she’s 2.
 

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