Bad Joke Thread (1 Viewer)

[Hawkeye Saint]

I have a penchant for collecting bad jokes. Not particularly obscene, just bad. Groan inducing, Swig 'o whisky down the wrong pipe muy malo. Some are even funny.

And I'm always looking for additions.

This thread has a 2 joke minimum.

Line up people. Heads up, back straight, thumbs down the seams, feet at a 45 degree angle.

Deep breath.

Now speak.


What do call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what ya call him, it ain't coming.

What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take him for a drag.

I kill me.

Next?

 

[mikaloyd]

Two parrots sitting on a perch. One says "Do you smell fish?"

Two aerials got married, the wedding wasnt much but the reception was GREAT!

A lady broom told a gent broom that he had to become a groom broom and marry her because she had a lil whisk broom growing inside of her.
"Impossible!" he says .....










wait for it














"WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"

 

[IcyColdBlueEyes]

What do you call the Association of Blood Donors?
The IV League

Why couldn't the chicken fly through the window?
It was closed

 

[GeauxSaints53]

Who's gonna win the Jets-Saints game? The Jets.

That right there is a bad joke.

 

[Danchrism]

What do you call a thread that's been made several times before?

Over-done

What do you call a poster who didn't bump one of the old(er) threads?

A poster who didn't search

http://saintsreport.com/forums/showthread.php?t=114419
http://saintsreport.com/forums/showthread.php?t=94402
http://saintsreport.com/forums/showthread.php?t=79545
http://saintsreport.com/forums/showthread.php?t=62128
http://saintsreport.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18274




What do you call a poster like Danchrism?

A helpful poster

 

[BoroSaint]

What'd the hat say to the hat rack?

You stay here....I'll go on ahead.

 

[mikaloyd]

What do you call a poster like Danchrism?

A helpful poster

A straight and narrow rules follower and a fine example to do gooders nationwide. You are an hero to all who love searches and dislike bad jokes.


You da man.

 

[Hawkeye Saint]

What do you call a thread that's been made several times before?

Over-done

What do you call a poster who didn't bump one of the old(er) threads?

A poster who didn't search

http://saintsreport.com/forums/showthread.php?t=114419
http://saintsreport.com/forums/showthread.php?t=94402
http://saintsreport.com/forums/showthread.php?t=79545
http://saintsreport.com/forums/showthread.php?t=62128
http://saintsreport.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18274




What do you call a poster like Danchrism?

A helpful poster

Thanks, but I have those already. Like I said I collect them, and it looks like I'm in good, or bad company.

Such as it is.

2 muffins were in the oven. 1st one looks at the 2nd and says,"man it's hot in here."

2nd one says "holy crap a talking muffin."


What do call a terrible cook?

Chef boy I don't.

 

[mikaloyd]

3 harps in a row. Two were tuned true. One was a lyre.

 

[Mauer]

Termite walks into a bar and asks "Is the bar tender here?"

What do you call a dear with no eyes?
No idea.
What do you call a dear with no eyes or legs?
Still no idea.

 

[Hawkeye Saint]

Rope walks into a bar, bartender says "we don't serve ropes in here." Rope leaves.

Rope comes back the next day. Bartender says Didn't I tell you we don't serve ropes in here?

Rope answers "I'm afraid not."


What was Helen Kellers favorite color?

Courderoy.

 

[cpg]

Gorilla walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?".

"20 bucks" says the bartender.

So the bartender serves the gorilla. A bit later the bartender walks back toward the gorilla and says "You, know, we don't get many of your kind in here."

Gorilla looks at him and replies, "Well, at 20 dollars a beer it's no wonder.".



What kind of phone does a turtle use? A shell phone.

 

[MSUSousaphone]

The three greatest action stars in the world (JVD, Stegall, and Arnold (its an old joke)) get together and start talking about their next movies. They decide to make them about their favorite composers.

JVD says, "dibs on Beethoven, he's my favorite".

Stegall goes, "I'll take Berlioz since symphonie fantastique is the greatest piece of music ever made."

Arnold says, "I'll be Bach."





A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender says, "hey man, you have a steering wheel in your pants."

The pirate says, "Arrrr, and it's driving me nuts."

 

[Hawkeye Saint]

Helen Keller fell down a well, what'd she do?

Screamed her hands off.

What kind of furniture do Irish Policeman prefer?

Paddy O' furniture.

 

[Oddfunk]

Here we go but these are good jokes IMO ...

Why do women have legs?
So they won't leave a trail like a slug.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
You can lay a brick without it following you around for 3 days.