Best SNL lines ever... (1 Viewer)

[Mamba]

There's a guy named Fred and he's got a pair of slacks
Oooh Fred's got slacks
They're really quite sharp, but they're tight around the waste
Oooh Fred's got slacks on the boulevard

 

[THAJCODE]

 

[Mamba]

Mondays, boy I hate Mondays
They make me so steamed.
Weekends! I prefer the weekends!
Oh oh oh oh oh oh

 

[antipop]

"hear me now and believe me later and listen me next tuesday"

 

[stunpals]

I Need More Cowbell

 

[HouDat]

"What we need are damned good ideas in Washington. I support drug testing for senior citizens. Tell our seniors 'if you do drugs, you don't get your social security checks'. Damn good idea."

 

[Jimmy_The_Veal]

Schwetty Balls
http://jeremy.zawodny.com/blog/archives/005986.html

 

[HouDat]

 

[antipop]

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.----Jack Handey

 

[Random Fan]

"Jane, you ignorant..."

 

[MLU]

"I will not call you 'Turd Ferguson'."

 

[antipop]

"I will not call you 'Turd Ferguson'."

oh yeah...celebrity jeapordy was one of the best skits ever.....

"for the last time, you are not batman."

 

[antipop]

"Is a donkey and a mule the same thing"?

"Does this donkey fix cars"?

"Rabbits can't cut they own hair...that's CRAZY"!!

"The rain forest? That sounds wet"!

"I once saw a video of a monkey washing a cat, that's CRAZY"!!

 

[peglegpeet13]

Does anyone remember the one with Richard Pryor and Chevy Chase??
The one with word association? That was hilarious.
Warning, some possible offensive language.
Didn't want to leave it up, just type in Richard Pryor and Chevy Chase on Youtube

 

[Mamba]

Put down that phone! That parrot was trying to use my credit card!

--Brian Fellow