Buttock Tattoo Terror Lands Rotherham Pair In Hospital (1 Viewer)

[where yat brah]

Buttock Tattoo Terror Lands Rotherham Pair In Hospital | The Rotherham Bugle

A furious row has broken out between a local tattoo artist and his client after what started out as a routine inking session, left both of them requiring emergency hospital treatment.

“It was a big job in more ways than one.” he told us “I’d just lit a roll up and was finishing off a centurions helmet. It’s delicate, close up work. Next thing is, I sense a slight ripple in the buttock cleavage area just around Charlton Heston’s whip, and a hissing sound – more of a whoosh than a rasp – and before I know what’s happening, there’s a flame shooting from her arse to my *** and my beards gone up like an Aussie bush fire.”

“I’m furious” said Jason, “I’ve got a face like a mange-ridden dog and my left eyebrows not there any more. I don’t know about Ben Hur – Gone With The Wind’s more like it. You don’t just let rip in someone’s face like that. It’s dangerous.”

“I’m still in agony,” she said, “and Charlton Heston looks more like Sidney bloody Poitier now. Jason shouldn’t have had a *** on the go and there’s no way I’d guff on purpose. He’d had me on all fours for nearly an hour. I can only put up with that for so long before nature takes its course. My Kev knows that. I give him my five second warning and I’d have done the same for Jason, but I didn’t get chance – it just crept out.”

 

[superchuck500]

In case you're confused from the OP's quote about what the tattoo was:

Vintage film fan and part time plus size model Tracey Munter (23), had visited the Ink It Good Tattoo Emporium on Wellgate last week to have the finishing touches applied to a double buttock representation of the chariot race scene from the iconic 1959 film, Ben Hur.

Basically, a plus-sized model comes in and wants the chariot scene from Ben Hur on her posterior. The artist lights a "roll" (not sure exactly what that is) while working, as the client passes wind - which somehow ignites and burns off the artist's eyebrows.

 

[Goatman Saint]

Not sure what a roll is? [emoji23][emoji23]


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[nolaspe]

Satire or not, that was funny as hell...

Jason says he rushed to the studio sink to quell the flames, only to turn round and see Tracey frantically fanning her buttock area with a damp towel. The flames had travelled down the gas cloud and set fire to her thong which was smoking like a cheap firework.

“To be honest”, said Jason, “I didn’t even realise she was wearing one. You’d need a sodding mining licence and a torch to find out for sure. She could have had a complete wardrobe in there and I’d have been none the wiser.”

 

[staphory]

Not sure what a roll is? [emoji23][emoji23]


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Think "Prince Albert in a can" and not "Mary Jane".

 

[superchuck500]

Not sure what a roll is? [emoji23][emoji23]


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I figured it was a cigarette, joint, or blunt - but not exactly sure which.

 

[Goatman Saint]

True though whatever it was he was smoking, the mental image of the chariot scene on a big woman's butt, she lets off a fart and burns up his beard is priceless you have to admit.


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[Bobario]

Roll as in roll your own cigarette from loose tobacco and cigarette papers. It's quite common here in the UK but not so much in the USA. I'm surprised this isn't an only in Florida thread.

 

[mjcouvi]

From the Rotherham Bugle's "about us" page:

We decided to launch The Rotherham Bugle after identifying a fundamental problem with other news based media covering the South Yorkshire area – they are restricted by a requirement that they stick to reporting on things that actually happened. And here’s the problem with that – what actually happened tends to be boring.

Pretty good stuff on there.