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You're right, I know that you're right and my brain is playing for team logic too. My emotions are still going that way though. It's not like I didn't tell him he was trying to catch covid by going on that hunting trip. It's not like I ignored him every time he made some dumbarse comment about the stupid masks or the dumb restrictions or claiming that covid death numbers are fake or any of that fun stuff. I'd call it every single time to the point it became difficult to even talk with him leading up to and since the election. It's not like I didn't tell him exactly what I thought when they all piled in the car with symptoms to go get tested then went to a restaurant to eat. Not like I didn't say anything when they all went shopping with symptoms.
When I called to wish him a Merry Christmas I could hear in his voice just how much he screwed up. My stepmother in the background dry heaving, literally crying out in pain from her joints, flat out screaming in agony. The fear in his voice asking me if he should take her to the hospital. The same time he is telling me how he is over it and feels better but he couldn't stop coughing long enough to convince me he was doing as well as he convinced himself he would. Just a few minutes later he is on Facebook asking for "prayer warriors" to pray for my stepmom and then he is parading around the comment section claiming he always wears a mask while blaming the masks for spreading covid.
He is the reason a lot of people are sick right now, including himself. It's his reasoning and logic that we are spraying money all over covid and can't seem to figure out why it isn't working. It is that thought process that has basically shut my business down for 6 months this year. It is those actions that have my kids doing homeschool. To go full circle, it is people like my dad who are the most upset that it is impacting business, family, school and lives but unwilling to even fathom the idea they are the cause of the problem.
So yes, I know I shouldn't feel guilty. Yes, I do love my dad and the good guy he once was is still in there somewhere but trying to feel sympathy for his situation while not feeling guilt for the pain he has caused others is not easy, even if it should be. Thanks for everyone letting me vent. I'll step back now as this thread shouldn't be dominated by the idiots around me and I will just reserve a post for the outcome.
I hope that you, your dad and your stepmom are all able to have a long sit-down in February once you're vaccinated.
This isn't the last pandemic we're going to see and the next one could be worse.
OANN 
