Does anyone else despise the holiday season? (1 Viewer)

insidejob

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Is it just me, or do any of you have such forked up families - parents/relatives with zero empathy/compassion - that just straight up sheet on you right before Thanksgiving and carry it out through the new year?

I certainly do. And I climb into a Radiohead deep depression that makes it better/worse because of my understanding of the whole dynamic. To make matters worse, I work for my family's business so I can't escape them at all.

This sheet has been going on for nearly two decades and I'm feeling like I'm ready to just blow the whole forking thing up. This time, it's worse than ever. I had two major surgeries in June and had to be put on narcotics even though I have a dangerous history with them. They referred me to a clinic so I wouldn't be in control of my own drugs. I've been off of them completely for going on three weeks and trying to be normal, but that apparently makes everyone think I'm USING drugs when it's the complete opposite. I can't be completely honest with my father about it after telling him I'd never go on pain meds again after a back surgery four years ago that I had to go to detox to get off of.

Seriously, I hate the forking holidays. I wish November and December would get wiped off the calendar. And that includes my birthday.
 
Is it just me, or do any of you have such forked up families - parents/relatives with zero empathy/compassion - that just straight up shirt on you right before Thanksgiving and carry it out through the new year?

I certainly do. And I climb into a Radiohead deep depression that makes it better/worse because of my understanding of the whole dynamic. To make matters worse, I work for my family's business so I can't escape them at all.

This shirt has been going on for nearly two decades and I'm feeling like I'm ready to just blow the whole forking thing up. This time, it's worse than ever. I had two major surgeries in June and had to be put on narcotics even though I have a dangerous history with them. They referred me to a clinic so I wouldn't be in control of my own drugs. I've been off of them completely for going on three weeks and trying to be normal, but that apparently makes everyone think I'm USING drugs when it's the complete opposite. I can't be completely honest with my father about it after telling him I'd never go on pain meds again after a back surgery four years ago that I had to go to detox to get off of.

Seriously, I hate the forking holidays. I wish November and December would get wiped off the calendar. And that includes my birthday.

Just keep your head down and try to not pay attention to anything until it's over.
 
You don’t hate the holidays, you just hate your family. Get a new family or spend less time with them.

During the holidays maybe you can do some of things you’re generally not supposed to do at family gatherings. Like stay glued to the tv, video games, hang with friends, etc.
 
You don’t hate the holidays, you just hate your family. Get a new family or spend less time with them.
No, I don't hate my family. I love them more than anything on this earth. I know why my dad is incapable of empathy or compassion/unconditional love - because he never got it. My parents divorced over it when I was nine. The only way he knows how to express himself is with anger, and when he sees me looking unhealthy, he gets angry and makes accusations instead of asking questions. Then ten minutes later he pretends like nothing happened. I'm just in a bad place today and need to get this sheet off my chest.

ETA: Only passing by my dad's side for a minute tomorrow for Thanksgiving and going to my mom's side who actually have hearts.
 
No, I don't hate my family. I love them more than anything on this earth. I know why my dad is incapable of empathy or compassion/unconditional love - because he never got it. My parents divorced over it when I was nine. The only way he knows how to express himself is with anger, and when he sees me looking unhealthy, he gets angry and makes accusations instead of asking questions. Then ten minutes later he pretends like nothing happened. I'm just in a bad place today and need to get this shirt off my chest.

ETA: Only passing by my dad's side for a minute tomorrow for Thanksgiving and going to my mom's side who actually have hearts.

Well, you know what to expect. You shouldn't let it get to you at this point. I know it's easier said that done, but you should imagine a few worst case scenarios in your head before you go, that way whatever happens, you've already gamed it out and make it will have less impact on you.
 
Well, you know what to expect. You shouldn't let it get to you at this point. I know it's easier said that done, but you should imagine a few worst case scenarios in your head before you go, that way whatever happens, you've already gamed it out and make it will have less impact on you.
Working on that right now. It's just overwhelming after the forking explosion that happened this morning at work over absolutely nothing,.
 
I grew up in a house where me and my 3 older brothers and mother and father all got along great. We got older, and once we were all moved out, every holiday was a chance for everyone to get back together and let the party commence. Thanksgiving was always a great one. party started wednesday night, me and my brothers could party, wives and mother started on the pre-thanksgivingday cooking. Anyways, after two brothers passed away, mother passed away, wife passed away. The new wife, who has troubles with the rest of her family, makes the holidays for her difficult enough.. all in all ... Holidays just ain't what they used to be. Me and my boys are gonna be tuned in on the Saints Game though. Here's to a Happy Thanksgiving !! Who Dat!?
 
I didn't move 1000+ miles from home chasing the American Dream. I did it to stay away from my family.
 
my wife sure does her dad died in a motorcycle crash the day before thanksgiving when she was 16
so for her family the holidays were an excuse to drink and angrily argue about who is the "Michael" and who is the "Fredo" in their annual Godfather marathons

my family had largely been immune to that until this year- my father had a major hospitalization and has the beginning stages of dementia - my sister and i have been trading staying with them and moving them in to assisted living
everyone's nerves are frayed, and my sister is not handling her self-appointed hero role with much aplomb
 
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Seasonal depression is a real thing. So are toxic family members. Lastly, addicts often struggle with this time of year. You might be experiencing 1, 2 , or all 3. Just know that like all things, this too shall pass. Don’t be afraid to get some space from the family if you need that and don’t feel like you need to explain or apologize.
 
Yeah, my wife is like this. She just gets into a depression that's hard for her to navigate without shutting on the rest of the family. It's like the holidays makes her travel back in time to being a 14 year old dealing with a broken family and absent mother issues. It's a bit difficult for us because I'm the opposite. I love the holidays and spending time with family. She'd rather book a table at a nice restaurant and hide from everyone. I'm hoping our 1 year old helps her to enjoy it for what it could be.
 
my dad died in the beginning of November 15 years ago and I found my older brother on Christmas eve (his 30th bday) a few years before dad. yeah I hate the holidays. I also have a daughter who I love too much to be depressed around.
 
Well you certainly need to stay way from the big box stores like Home Depot because they've been pushing Christmas since early September. I went to the one by us in early September to buy pool supplies because it was still 90 degrees and you walk in there and there are more inflatable Santas then skeletons!
 
I slept on it for a couple hours and decided I'm just not taking anymore sheet. The second sheet gets started, I'll be leaving, I'll deal with the repercussions at the office on Monday. Then again, maybe no sheet will be started since I apparently got my point across somewhat today. My father has never said the words, "I'm sorry," for anything in his life. In his mind, his opinion is the end all be all, so instead he acts like nothing even happened. The only thing he knows how to do is buy people off for his own bad behavior. I was looking at my bank account a minute ago before going to a meeting, and he transferred $205 into my account to pay for my license renewal and CE - which I didn't ask for.

I'm sure getting into an accident in the first car I've ever bought totally with my own money last Friday is fueling some of his disappointment and rage right now, but what's it matter to him? I haven't had an at fault accident in like 15 years, I'm paying the note and the insurance, but apparently something as minor as a fender bender pushes him over the edge to the point where the sight of me pisses me off. The second he gets P'Oed off tomorrow, I'm out.

Too bad Christmas isn't next week and this whole sham could be put to bed quickly.

I guess I'm just tired of faking enjoying spending time with a bunch of drunks who only see each other on holidays or wedding and funerals.

I passed up the possibility of getting married and having kids because I was afraid I'd be as bad of a father as mine is.

"If I had known then, what I know now."
 

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