For those who don't have happy holidays (1 Viewer)

wnelson

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Keep your heads up... Took me 13 years to get over my brother's death on Christmas Eve 15 years ago. I identified him.
 

saintmdterps

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Unfortunately these needless deaths will continue until we erase the stigma of mental health problems. Those who need help often do not know where to turn, or feel "weak" for needing help

My father's father died when dad was 13, then his stepfather died when he was 16. In World War II he survived a plane crash, then came home and married his high school sweetheart who committed suicide after 13 years of marriage because she couldn't have children. Dad never sought help. He didn't know how to ask.

What I learned from his struggles is that it often takes a tougher person to ask for help than to gut it out alone.

Peace and Blessings to all who suffer from any mental health issues, especially at this time of year.
 

guidomerkinsrules

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Keep your heads up... Took me 13 years to get over my brother's death on Christmas Eve 15 years ago. I identified him.
great thread - thank you
i always feel a bit uplifted during the holiday season, but my wife (when she was a teenager) lost her dad the day before thanksgiving so it became a 'season of mourning' for them and it kinda remains that way

and though it's not quite the same, this song always puts the season in perspective for me
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/-DfEpCQKsyc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
 

saintmdterps

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great thread - thank you
i always feel a bit uplifted during the holiday season, but my wife (when she was a teenager) lost her dad the day before thanksgiving so it became a 'season of mourning' for them and it kinda remains that way

and though it's not quite the same, this song always puts the season in perspective for me
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/-DfEpCQKsyc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
I lost my father in November of 1984 and mother in November of 1988. Since then the holiday season has been a personal house of horrors for me, the ghosts of which like to show up pretty much annually. I try to put on a good face for family but it's draining. To be honest, I'd be happy to hit the fast forward button to April.
 

guidomerkinsrules

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I lost my father in November of 1984 and mother in November of 1988. Since then the holiday season has been a personal house of horrors for me, the ghosts of which like to show up pretty much annually. I try to put on a good face for family but it's draining. To be honest, I'd be happy to hit the fast forward button to April.
thank you for sharing - i'm not really going to add anything b/c i'm sure you've heard it all before, just acknowledging the sharing of personal stories - i think EE is best when it allows for that
 

kevin from buffalo

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Keep your heads up... Took me 13 years to get over my brother's death on Christmas Eve 15 years ago. I identified him.
keep to your words and keep your head up.we cant allow the struggles that we go through in life to bog us down...that can get very tiresome.

we have to keep movin on..keep on keepin on.

nate preston..who was a member of this great site pulled a pistol out of my mouth

he was bulldawg.
if you ever feel the need to talk...you call me. i will call you back..

i'm going to pm you

i love you brother..you are good people..
 

Oye

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I talked to an auditorium full of high school boys about my history and battles with anxiety, stress, and depression. I've largely overcome them and happier than I thought I'd ever have a right to be.

It was the first time I talked about it to anyone outside close family and friends.

It was terrifying.

The goal was to de-stigmatize the struggles for these kids. It was two years ago and I still get feedback from it, from boys and families and colleagues. It was pretty incredible.

And all I really did was a 20-minute TED-styled talk whose tl;dr was: I went through it. Thought I was the only one. It sucked. Realized I wasn't alone. Talked to someone. You're not alone. Talk to someone. Don't be ashamed like I was.

Just knowing that and saying it can be incredible.

And if you aren't struggling but know someone who is or someone comes to you, listen and don't judge.

Thanks, wnelson.
 
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wnelson

wnelson

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I lost my father in November of 1984 and mother in November of 1988. Since then the holiday season has been a personal house of horrors for me, the ghosts of which like to show up pretty much annually. I try to put on a good face for family but it's draining. To be honest, I'd be happy to hit the fast forward button to April.
I lost my father in 2003 to suicide. My daughter did not meet him either.. It is kind of strange but when loved ones go they take a part of you with them. The closer they are the more they take. The last 2 years and this one so far have been the best. :idunno: everybody is different and there are no answers besides peace... which I genuinely hope you find... because it is truly liberating.
 

saintmdterps

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I lost my father in 2003 to suicide. My daughter did not meet him either.. It is kind of strange but when loved ones go they take a part of you with them. The closer they are the more they take. The last 2 years and this one so far have been the best. :idunno: everybody is different and there are no answers besides peace... which I genuinely hope you find... because it is truly liberating.
Thank you :)

It isn't just the deaths, it's the slew of other personal and professional setbacks that seemed to occur around this time of year that have left me feeling down at the holidays :(

Oh well, each year is a chance for a fresh start and a do-over in some regard.

I'm sorry for your loss as well.
 

Brennan77

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Thank you for making this thread and for those are sharing. The holidays have always been a fun time for me. I work hard and I play hard. My wife is the opposite. She had a rough time growing up in a broken family with all sorts of trauma that no one, much less a kid, deserves. It's the worst time of the year for her. It's always difficult for me not to get a little selfishly bitter about her being a downer around Christmas. This reminds me to be generous and understanding. So thanks.
 

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