For those with three or more children... (1 Viewer)

[Saint by the Bay]

Our third was an accident and she is the best thing to ever happen to her two older brothers and our family. She really introduced a dynamic that they were so far removed from. I think going from one to two was the biggest adjustment, or maybe going from zero to one was but I can't remember that far back...
The third is cake, and three is the magic number if your'e going to have kids.

I think 4 is the magic number IFyou can afford it. We have two that are two years apart and 2 that are 19 months apart. Both pairs have each other as playmates and are close enough in age to always enjoy the same things plus you have the dynamic of the relationship between the older and younger pairs.

I feel blessed having had my daughter first. She's such a mother hen to the boys and they are all very close to her.

 

[Shockmo]

Too many variables to really try to give a good answer. But from my experience with three...I think the most important thing as to whether it is difficult or not is the personality type of the child. My first one was average to deal with ...second was so easy it was pathetic...third one .....good God run for the hills he's coming this way !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Needless to say we stopped at three. lol The most important thing is they are all very loved.

 

[Jeff Miller]

the wife is wanting number 2

i do not want

any advice there?

counseling. In my personal expirence when one person wants another child and the other doesnt, its because its easier to deal with infants than it is to work on a marriage. I'm not trying to insinuate anything, just sharing what i know.

 

[Pure Energy]

How was the transition from having two to having three?

Is that the most challenging transition (after the first one)? I have heard going from three to four is a lot easier, but two to three was the big step up.

I have heard the zone defense from man-to-man analogy.

I have also heard from several that by the time you have four, that fourth one is pretty much raising itself.

Just trying to get some perspective before I venture there myself.

We've been blessed with four (boy, boy, girl, girl) and I highly recommend having as many children as possible (possible is open to interpretation). I look at it from this perspective...what is there that I do that is more important or brings greater joy than creating new life. The biggest transition from 2 to 3 was that it served as the catalyst to acquire the minivan and for my wife to quit her job and stay at home (it was a huge reduction in household income). I'm not going to mislead you...it's tough the more kids you have but I trust it is worth it and my wife and I don't want to ever second guess whether or not we should have had more.

 

[Jeff Miller]

Agreed. I had 3 about as fast as one could. There's only 27 1/2 months between the birthdays of the first and last ones. They are close, have good relationships, share friends, activities, were each others sparring partners....... It was easy to find an activity that suited all of them. They all moved to the "big pool" the same summer, took all the training wheels off the same day, were never alone if they didn't want to be ....... Being so close in age made it easy on me. Piece of cake. It was great.

I highly recommend it, but I wish I had had more.

I took a totally different track myself. I made sure there was a 5 year difference between the ages of my step son and my daughter. I personally can't imagine trying to put 3 children thru college at the same time.

Good luck.