I want to finally apologize to the board (1 Viewer)

David Robbins

Ole Miss Rocks!
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especially to blue reader.

My wife divorced me 6 years ago. We were married for almost 21 years. I found out later that she cheated on me. It crushed me.

I am a Christian. I believe in everything the Bible says. Including divorce. I haven't been with a woman since then because I believe what scripture says.

I won't get into theology. Still, I have had a hard 6 years.

I have never lost my love for the lord, but I have felt totally alone many times. Losing someone I loved with all my heart has hurt me so much. I have not been the same man since then.

Recently I got banned for some things I said and I am sorry for what I said. I can only say that it is my ongoing hurt that causes me to reach out in depression and respond the way I do. I need to apologize to the board and to blu reader because I really feel a kinship to all of you.

I know this probably sounds lame. I really am not like this. I just am so hurt and lonely. I haven't been with anyone since my wife left me. I am just reaching out in the wrong way. I apologize for this.

I recently thought I was dying because of a pain in my throat. I thought I might have cancer. It took 6 months but just now the pain finally went away. I actually thought I had cancer. Lol.

I really don't have much to look forward to in this life. I have basically given up. I just don't care what happens to me anymore. Thats why when blue banned me I never complained.

Don't get me wrong...I'm glad he let me back. Saintsreport is all I look forward to each day.
I have not much left in my life.

I am not seeking pity for my troubles. I am just trying to apologize for what y'all think of me. I know I come off as a bad person. I am not, I am just hurting.

Anyway, I am sorry. I have tried lately to keep my posts light and funny. Hopefully y'all will all forgive me. I don't normally open up like this
 
Apologies to Blue notwithstanding, you don’t have anything to apologize for
You come in with strong opinions and some (me, et al) give strong opinions back

very sorry to hear about the marriage/loneliness- and I for one am glad that you come here to share your loneliness (to varying degrees in sure most of us do something similar)

also, your faith is impressive, but maybe talk to a preacher in your denomination about the variety of ways to address marriage - I can’t remember a specific instance where Jesus talks about marriage (that seems more like a Paul thing to me), but I doubt Jesus wants you to be miserable- he wants you to love
 
David, I’m sorry you’re in so much pain and suffering. You’ve been going through a lot and loneliness during difficult times only amplifies the hurt.

Do you have access to any kind of mental health care? I know it’s not easy to seek out that kind of help, but it takes a certain courage to reach out and admit when you can’t go it alone anymore.

And man, I have to tell you, if your relationship with God and your devotion to your faith aren’t filling you with a sense of peace and an enthusiasm to get back to really living, it might be time to reevaluate that part of your life. You’re not undeserving of happiness and you weren’t put here to live out your days in misery.

I’m pulling for you.
 
David, I’m sorry you’re in so much pain and suffering. You’ve been going through a lot and loneliness during difficult times only amplifies the hurt.

Do you have access to any kind of mental health care? I know it’s not easy to seek out that kind of help, but it takes a certain courage to reach out and admit when you can’t go it alone anymore.

And man, I have to tell you, if your relationship with God and your devotion to your faith aren’t filling you with a sense of peace and an enthusiasm to get back to really living, it might be time to reevaluate that part of your life. You’re not undeserving of happiness and you weren’t put here to live out your days in misery.

I’m pulling for you.
I’m not speaking for him but i will say that some will think being saved aka believing that Jesus died for our sins is the end all be all about our life on earth.

Being saved does not guarantee that you will not go through trials and tribulations. Matter of fact, you will most likely go through more because the devil loves attacking when things are going well. It’s not misery. It’s reality.

I responded because your post came off that if he took religion out of the equation he could possibly be happier.
 
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David, I don't mean to speak for the whole board, but I don't think anyone thinks you are a bad person. In fact, I think it's quite the opposite considering so many people engage with you on your threads.

Please understand that people disagreeing with you is not a sign of thinking ill of you as a person.
 
David, I’m sorry you’re in so much pain and suffering. You’ve been going through a lot and loneliness during difficult times only amplifies the hurt.

Do you have access to any kind of mental health care? I know it’s not easy to seek out that kind of help, but it takes a certain courage to reach out and admit when you can’t go it alone anymore.

And man, I have to tell you, if your relationship with God and your devotion to your faith aren’t filling you with a sense of peace and an enthusiasm to get back to really living, it might be time to reevaluate that part of your life. You’re not undeserving of happiness and you weren’t put here to live out your days in misery.

I’m pulling for you.
I'm just trying to deal with this on my own. Don't get me wrong. I don't want sympathy. We all have to go through things to grow.

My wife crushed me. I have hurt this board because of that.

I used to be a great poster here. I have tarnished my reputation because of this.

I know what I am now. But I pray every night. Still I question my own Christianity. I wonder why God allows this.

I have Always been loyal. I never cheated on her, and she promised she would never do the same.

I am sorry. I just wanted to apologize for my depressive posts. Didn't mean to go this deep. Sorry.

I just hurt so much. I have no one left in my life since my parents died. I'm 57 going on 58 years old. I'm about to the point I'd rather die than deal with the pain of being alone.

I know... I'm sounding like a winer.
Just have no one to talk to. I hurt so much since she did that to me. I can't understand why someone who says you love, can cheat, then divorce you.

She crushed me a few months ago when she finally talked to me again and told me that she had gotten remaried. I haven't been with anyone since she divorced me 6 years ago.

Anyway, I don't want sympathy. Just wanted to apologize for being an a-wgole and not the same poster I used to be
 
David, I’m sorry you’re in so much pain and suffering. You’ve been going through a lot and loneliness during difficult times only amplifies the hurt.

Do you have access to any kind of mental health care? I know it’s not easy to seek out that kind of help, but it takes a certain courage to reach out and admit when you can’t go it alone anymore.

And man, I have to tell you, if your relationship with God and your devotion to your faith aren’t filling you with a sense of peace and an enthusiasm to get back to really living, it might be time to reevaluate that part of your life. You’re not undeserving of happiness and you weren’t put here to live out your days in misery.

I’m pulling for you.
Thanks David. I have Always respected you my friend. I don't know if I should seek out help. I have Always believed that God. (Jesus) will help me if I just trust in him. Yet I'm still alone.

I have no one. Both of my parents are dead. My brother in law killed himself. I am totally alone in this life.

This is why (i figure ) my posts have become so bad. I used to be a good guy. Now, I'm not sure.

Anyway, this was really meant for blue. I hope he can forgive me for what I difmd.

I am not seeking sympathy. Believe me. If I wanted to I could have killed myself a long time ago. I just wanted everyone to know that what I have become is not me.

I used to be one of the best posters on saintsreport. I know that my depression has hurt that.

Blue is right. I must need help
 
David, I’m sorry you’re in so much pain and suffering. You’ve been going through a lot and loneliness during difficult times only amplifies the hurt.

Do you have access to any kind of mental health care? I know it’s not easy to seek out that kind of help, but it takes a certain courage to reach out and admit when you can’t go it alone anymore.

And man, I have to tell you, if your relationship with God and your devotion to your faith aren’t filling you with a sense of peace and an enthusiasm to get back to really living, it might be time to reevaluate that part of your life. You’re not undeserving of happiness and you weren’t put here to live out your days in misery.

I’m pulling for you.
David, I have talked to councelors with the va. They couldn't help me. On my own, I took the one remaining picture I had of Laura and burned it, hoping it would give me closure. At first I thought it did. Then the dreams started.

To be honest, I now know not what to do. I am not seeking sympathy. It doesn't matter what happens to me from this point forward. I know God has my back in the long run. I just hurt so much.

Anyway I just wanted to apologize to blue. I probably hurt his feelings. I know he cared for me. I am truly sorry for that.

I used to be a good poster here. My depression has changed that. I'm sorry
 
I’m glad you have the opportunity to apologize, it’s part of the healing process. We all say not so smart or hurtful things now and then ;myself more than most). We’re all human. I’m happy you’re apart of the family. We love you man.
 
I've learned over the years that it is important to separate who I am from what happened. Yes she cheated. Yes that is a betrayal which hurts. Also, it is her failing not mine. Therefore, I could let it go now that the issue is resolved by divorce. To continue to let something someone else did hurt is unnecessary.

I find that perspective allows the hurt to pass. I allow that pain to pass. It's done and no amount of lingering on it will change what has happened so I look forward to tomorrow knowing that betrayal is over.
 

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