I was listening to the Radio this Morning...

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RebSaint

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And whatever show was pondering the troubles which plague lesbian relationships. The one lesbian who was interviewed that communication was a problem--in that with two women, they just both get upset, angry, and aren't able to articulate the issues involving whatever problem existed.

So what problems do vex lesbian relationships? Any lesbians care to weigh in on this issue? It really got the old brain pan going at 7:00 A.M. in the morning. :shrug:
 

gavinj

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So what problems do vex lesbian relationships? Any lesbians care to weigh in on this issue?
I'm a male lesbian, does that count?

I have a friend who represents lesbians in child custody cases and civil suits. A lesbian couple will live together, decide to have a kid, one will get artificially inseminated, they have the kid, relationship goes south a few years later, birth mother takes off with child, other mother is left devastated and with no rights even if they are the one who raised the kid every single day for years.

It sounds like it might be a rare occurence, but my friend gets calls on this problem at least once every 3 or 4 days just in the DFW area.
 
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Drama.

My sister in law is gay and all I ever hear from her about her relationships and her friends relationships is drama. I used to go to gay bars with her and all I ever saw was drama. I have a lot of gay friends and it's always drama. It's really not even a lesbian thing. It's gay culture in general.

I think it's what happens when you really can't legally commit. Many of them are basically eternally in relationships that resemble late teen or early twenty relationships for heterosexuals because they can never truly move to that "next level" we can.
 

Saint77

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Drama.

My sister in law is gay and all I ever hear from her about her relationships and her friends relationships is drama. I used to go to gay bars with her and all I ever saw was drama. I have a lot of gay friends and it's always drama. It's really not even a lesbian thing. It's gay culture in general.

I think it's what happens when you really can't legally commit. Many of them are basically eternally in relationships that resemble late teen or early twenty relationships for heterosexuals because they can never truly move to that "next level" we can.
Interesting, in that a culture that resubscribes somewhat to thinking that they don't need validation from heteros to be happy, needs this form of validation to move to the next level?

I know, even hetero couples often need the validation of marriage to move up, as it were, im just making an observation for conversation form your statement.

Anyway, back OT. I totally agree about the drama thing. I hav eobserved lesbian arguements, and while trying my damndest not to laugh, I notice its all drama.

Thinking from a psychological viewpoint, since most women think with the emotional side of the scale, a lesbian arguement is a disaster for us guys. yikes!
 

DadsDream

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So what problems do vex lesbian relationships? Any lesbians care to weigh in on this issue? It really got the old brain pan going at 7:00 A.M. in the morning. :shrug:
I'm not gay or a lesbian, so the best I can do is refer you to the "After Ellen" website.

AfterEllen - News, Reviews & Commentary on Lesbian and Bisexual women in Entertainment and the Media
http://www.afterellen.com/

VIDEO: 3Way Confessional #2: "This One's For the Ladies"
 

Sabine

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Gay couples as committed as straight couples: study

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - Gay and lesbian couples are just as committed in their relationships as heterosexuals and the legal status of their union doesn't impact their happiness, according to new research.............

They found that regardless of sexual orientation, as the level of commitment increased, so did the ability to resolve conflict -- debunking the myth that same-sex relationships are not built on the same level of commitment as heterosexual ones...........

The researchers from the University of Washington, San Diego State University and the University of Vermont found that same-sex couples, regardless of their legal status, were more satisfied with their relationships and reported more positive feelings toward their partners and less conflict than heterosexual married couples.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080122/lf_nm_life/couples_committment_dc
 

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Interesting, in that a culture that resubscribes somewhat to thinking that they don't need validation from heteros to be happy, needs this form of validation to move to the next level?

I know, even hetero couples often need the validation of marriage to move up, as it were, im just making an observation for conversation form your statement.
They claim they don't need validation but they desperately want it as shown in how angry they are when they don't get it. Like all people they want to feel "normal". As with lots of people their emotional defense is to claim they don't care but generally human beings want to fit in with the rest of the herd and that only comes from acceptance.

It's an interesting dynamic in the gay community between those wanting "separate but equal" and those wanting full acceptance. It's very reminiscent of the Civil Rights movement of the 60's. The results in the long run will probably be the same as well.
 

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I think the lesbian's quote was just misunderstood. It sounds sexist (but this was coming from her) but I believe that she isn't saying they have different issues, but that they have trouble communicating properly with eachother. Begging the question, if women can't communicate properly with women, how the **** are guys expected to?
 

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Sabine

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The one lesbian who was interviewed that communication was a problem--in that with two women, they just both get upset, angry, and aren't able to articulate the issues involving whatever problem existed.
My guess is that she hasn't dated enough men to know that happens often with straight couples too.

Any lesbians care to weigh in on this issue?
Trolling for lesbians? You're shameless.

:ezbill:
 

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I have quite a few lesbian friends/co-workers. Two of my best friends are the parents of my Godson. They did the whole artificial insemination thing. They changed their last names to be the same, have done the whole estate planning thing, have worked out their rights regarding their Son through their estate planning etc... They are also financially stable. They have done commitments ceremonies and have traveled to states that allow marriage and done that, etc... I think that their age also has a lot to do with it. They met in their mid thirties and are now in their forties. It also helps that their friends and family have all accepted it and have embraced them.

They are stable over-all and I would be shocked to see them split but they are the exception to the rule.

Most of the lesbians that I have known have virtual turnstiles at their bedroom doors. They are always moving in with each other, fighting constantly and then moving on to another bad relationship. I sometimes think that their changes in appearance hurts things. My Godson's parents are still quite girly but most of the others that I know start trying to look like young boys. One that I know had hair down to her knees and cut it off shorter than mine. It wasn't two months before she and her girlfriend were at each other's throats. If you are a woman and want somebody who is attracted to women, maybe, you should try looking like one. Just my opinion.

I notice that a lot of the lesbians that I know have financial problems as well. I imagine that a lot of this has to do with the fact that women, often, make less money than men. Nearly all of the gay men that I have ever met have had plenty of money and most of the lesbians that I have known are the opposite. As with heterosexual couples, the lack of money is going to start lots of fights.

Another problem that I see but not from folks that I know is that arguments in gay/lesbian couples get physical. MOST of us men are taught not to hit women. Our arguments with women, therefore, don't get physical. It is not considered to be as bad to hit those of the same gender. I can imagine that some arguments get way out of hand. This kind of atmosphere is also going to end things more quickly than otherwise.

All that you really have to know about why lesbians have relationship problems is to work with a bunch of women. They, for the most part, can't help but fight, backtalk, back-stab, and argue and they want everybody to join in.
 

Saint77

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They claim they don't need validation but they desperately want it as shown in how angry they are when they don't get it. Like all people they want to feel "normal". As with lots of people their emotional defense is to claim they don't care but generally human beings want to fit in with the rest of the herd and that only comes from acceptance.

It's an interesting dynamic in the gay community between those wanting "separate but equal" and those wanting full acceptance. It's very reminiscent of the Civil Rights movement of the 60's. The results in the long run will probably be the same as well.
Well put

I think theres a third component too, certainly not as well pronounced, but there nonetheless. My brother went to school with a guy who eventually came out after being in the army pre "dont ask dont tell" He was always railing about being able to marry legally whoever he wanted to, asin a male gay partner, even though he did not actually want to ever marry, because marriage sucks, in his words. My brother and I asked him why? why would you even care if your not ever gonna get married? His reply? "just to piss off all the breeders" He was very serious in this.and hes not alone.

Anyway, back to more lesbo talk. I heart lesbo convo.
 
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