It’s Beginning to Smell a Lot Like Christmas - with bold predictions (1 Viewer)

UndeadSnoopy

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I’ve been busy these last few months analyzing data and crunching numbers.

I even summoned the evil Lassie from the Underworld and asked her what the future held.

She just laughed until Flaming Hot Cheetos flew from her nose. Then she peed on my couch.

She gives “female dogs” a bad name.

Here are my most likely scenarios for the holidays.

1. We all know the dead will rise soon, but strangely enough the first re-animated will be the Pilgrims. Scantily clad and wearing those kinky Pilgrim hats, they will hunger for human flesh.

“Is that a turkey baster in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

2. Santa goes bankrupt and is shot to death trying to rob one of those Salvation Army buckets.

3. I’m tired.
 

Saintman2884

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I’ve been busy these last few months analyzing data and crunching numbers.

I even summoned the evil Lassie from the Underworld and asked her what the future held.

She just laughed until Flaming Hot Cheetos flew from her nose. Then she peed on my couch.

She gives “female dogs” a bad name.

Here are my most likely scenarios for the holidays.

1. We all know the dead will rise soon, but strangely enough the first re-animated will be the Pilgrims. Scantily clad and wearing those kinky Pilgrim hats, they will hunger for human flesh.

“Is that a turkey baster in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

2. Santa goes bankrupt and is shot to death trying to rob one of those Salvation Army buckets.

3. I’m tired.
In response to your first scary prediction, is it plausible that when these "Walking Dead" Pilgrims or Puritans(they were two very different, distinct religious sects, BTW) they will find out and proselytize backsliding Christians or unbelievers such as Roman Catholics like myself and if they accept salvation, they'll be eaten and allowed to join their undead Puritan army to wipe out and destroy heretics in God's newly appointed Heaven on Earth. I mean, zombies just cannot be allowed to be mindless, cognitively impaired dregs with no sense of intelligence, purpose, or clarity or perspective. They can't just expect to simply eat their way to the top, literally.

If Santa goes bankrupt, would collective Western civilization and our inane, incessantly materialist culture be partly to blame due to ever-increasing corporate competition and striking elves demanding better living and working conditions and be paid more than starvation wages?
 
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i just noticed that box of delicious is called Tofurkey. Good luck with that lol

Soy/tofu meats are just a bridge to help meat eaters gradually transition. Those are not really vegan/vegetarian in my mind, but it maybe to others. The new branding of the vegan/vegetarian meals are "plant based", when you label your plant based meal as Tofurkey, it sends the wrong message. It's like giving methadone to heroin addicts, it's not the best option, but it helps those with addictions.


3. I’m tired.
Have you tried changing your diet?


O.k., I let the vegan propaganda go for now. Why don't you go snowboarding? It might help your inner puppy power!

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